This is a headgum podcast.

Hello and welcome to Perfect Person, the show where I'm Perfect and you're, of course, a person.

I've been getting into my ears with an ear pick.

Have you seen the viral videos where they go into your ears?

Well, what if I told you there was a product you could get and then sync to your phone and you could go into your own ears

and mine all sorts of modern horrors out of those puppies.

Put them on a napkin and wonder what it's all for.

I'm here with John Marco Sarasi.

Am I allowed to add onto that?

Because my girlfriend loves...

We have something like that.

And my girlfriend, she really likes, like, popping pimples and all that sorts of stuff.

So she gets in there, and I always get scared.

She's going to, like, go too far and come up the other end.

She goes in your ears?

Oh, yeah.

Oh.

She begs me.

No. She begs me. Please.

Please. Please. She really, like, I don't know what it is. It's a mental illness for sure, but like she just loves it.

See, I, my lovely wife, Sarah also pops pimples. She's getting in there. She's doing the nasty stuff.

I wouldn't trust her going in my ear. She'd go too far.

...