189 - Friday Fix: 5 Boundary Mistakes to Avoid

The Verywell Mind Podcast

Dotdash Media Inc.

Health & Fitness, Self-improvement, Mental Health, Education

5 • 703 Ratings

🗓️ 5 August 2022

⏱️ 11 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Boundaries involve setting rules that make it clear how you want to be treated. Sometimes, this means saying something like, “No, I won’t loan you my car.” Other boundaries involve telling someone what you expect like, “I expect you to call before showing up at my house.” It’s important to announce your boundaries to other people. You might say, “Please don’t ask about my health issues in front of other people.” At times, however, it’s best to show what your boundaries are with your behavior. If you’re at a dinner party where people start drinking heavily and you’re uncomfortable, you might find it’s best to leave without offering an explanation about why. Setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable at first if you aren’t used to setting them. But establishing clear boundaries shows you have respect for yourself, and it can be the key to establishing healthy relationships with other people. There are a lot of misconceptions about boundaries. These misconceptions often spread quickly on social media and cause many people to misunderstand how to set boundaries in a healthy way. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Very Well Mind podcast. We've interviewed over 100 authors, experts, entrepreneurs, athletes, musicians, and others to help you learn strategies to care for your mental health.
0:22.9	This episode is hosted by psychotherapist and bestselling author Amy Morin. Now let's get into the episode.
0:45.5	Okay. You're listening to the Friday fix.
0:52.5	Every Friday, I share a quick mental strength strategy that will help fix the thoughts, feelings, and actions that can hold you back in life.
0:55.4	Today I'm talking about boundaries. It's a hot topic right now. And while it's great to set boundaries, there are a lot of misconceptions about
1:00.4	what it means to set healthy boundaries. So today I'm talking about the five biggest boundary
1:05.6	mistakes that you're going to want to avoid. Because making these mistakes makes things worse,
1:10.6	not better,
1:11.6	but they're really common. And unfortunately, the misconceptions about why we should set
1:16.4	boundaries or how to set them often spread like wildfire on social media. So today, I'm clearing
1:23.3	up those misconceptions so that you can set the boundaries you need to experience inner peace.
1:28.8	Before we talk about boundary mistakes, though, let's discuss what boundaries are and why we need
1:33.7	to establish them. A boundary is a rule that you set about how you're going to allow other people
1:38.9	to treat you. There are different kinds of boundaries. Physical boundary might be about telling
1:44.0	someone, no, I'm not comfortable giving a hug right now during the pandemic.
1:48.2	An emotional boundary might be about telling your aunt, I'm not comfortable talking about whether or not I plan to have kids.
1:54.7	A financial boundary might be about saying no to somebody when they ask you to borrow money.
1:59.7	The reason we need boundaries is because
2:01.8	they show other people what we're willing to tolerate. Without boundaries, you'll likely feel
2:07.5	uncomfortable and you might get angry and resentful and other people won't know what your expectations
2:12.2	are. Your relationships actually become damaged because other people don't necessarily know when they're
2:18.2	harming you or they don't know when they're harming your relationship and they don't know what causes you
	...

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