377. Over-Responsibility: The Spin (Greatest Hits)

UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone

Kara Loewentheil

Health & Fitness, Mental Health, Education, Self-improvement, Philosophy, Society & Culture

4.6 • 5.5K Ratings

🗓️ 16 January 2025

⏱️ 19 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Do you feel like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders? Like you’re responsible for everyone and everything around you? Society has trained women to believe our worth depends on managing everyone else’s thoughts, feelings, and happiness. But this over-responsibility? It’s a dream stealer, an energy drainer, and a massive life suck.

In this Greatest Hits episode, I’m diving into how over-responsibility shows up in our lives and why it keeps us stuck. From obsessing over appearances to taking on outcomes we can’t control, this constant brain spin has us chasing impossible standards instead of living the lives we want. Tune in to uncover how over-responsibility is holding you back—and learn what it takes to finally let it go and reclaim your energy for your dreams.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/377

Transcript

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0:00.0	All right, y'all. So January, as we know, is the month of like, new year, new you. Who are you going to be in 2025? What are your goals? What are your resolutions? How are you going to change your life? And listen, I'm obviously all in favor of all of that because I'm a life coach. That's kind of what I do all year round. But I want to talk about one of the biggest unseen forces that derails
0:24.0	the best laid plans, the best intentions, the best resolutions for people socializes
0:31.2	women especially. And that is over responsibility. And over responsibility, which is the topic of today's episode, is the thought
0:42.0	pattern and the action pattern that comes from the socialization that women receive that
0:48.2	tells us that we are responsible for everyone and everything around us. If you just look at the kind of outcomes of
0:56.5	your life so far, those are being produced by thought patterns that I guarantee you contain some
1:02.8	over-responsibility. And so when you resolve to change them, when you resolve to do things
1:08.9	differently for 2025, it's inevitable. It is a necessity that you
1:15.7	have to change your sort of allocation of time and energy, right? The way that you have been
1:22.7	consciously or unconsciously investing your time and energy in your currently existing or until recently
1:29.4	existing thoughts, feelings, and actions has to change to produce new outcomes. And because we are
1:36.6	often not aware of over-responsibility, it's like an iceberg we can't see and it wrecks the ship
1:42.7	and we don't even understand why or what happened.
1:45.8	All we know is all of a sudden it just things got too hard. We were too tired. We couldn't keep it
1:51.5	together. We couldn't get our shit together. We aren't inconsistent. We don't have enough
1:55.8	willpower. This went wrong. That went wrong. We went wrong. We're sort of trying to explain to ourselves why this thing that we really
2:03.0	wanted to do and cared about doing and maybe even planned out doing really well just did not happen.
2:08.9	And we don't understand that over responsibility is often the reason, because over responsibility is
2:15.1	keeping us focused on spreading ourselves too thin, trying to control
2:19.8	shit we can't control, which makes us feel crazy and out of control.
2:23.6	And then that just is a vicious cycle.
2:25.7	It keeps us diluting our energy and draining our attention and spending time and energy on
	...

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