#489 Thinking About Divorce? You Might Want to Listen to This First
Christian Sexuality - Java with Juli
Authentic Intimacy®
4.8 • 1.6K Ratings
🗓️ 30 October 2023
⏱️ 48 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In marriages where one or both partners are unhappy, divorce is a very real consideration. But imagine that you sit down with a divorce attorney, tell her you and your spouse argue all the time and can’t see eye to eye, and after nodding quietly, she gives you the following advice: before you split, take inventory.
Sound unconventional? This is the advice from divorce attorney Toni Nieuwhof, who, along with her husband, pastor-turned-leader-coach Carey Nieuwhof, has seen many couples walk through marital trouble and divorce.
Whether you’re walking through a tough season in your marriage or are currently contemplating divorce, this is a podcast episode that can encourage you and create fresh motivation to nurture your relationship with your spouse.
Guests: Toni and Carey Nieuwhof
Book: Before You Split by Toni Nieuwhof
Blog: How Do I Know If I'm in an Abusive Relationship?
Java with Juli: #466 Enough is Enough: Recognizing and Combating Abusive Relationships
Book: When Sorry Isn’t Enough by Gary Chapman and Jen Thomas
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey friend, welcome to job with Julie hosted by me, Julie Slattery. |
| 0:06.4 | This podcast is a listener supported outreach of the Ministry of Authentic University. |
| 0:12.3 | An article was published a few years ago by Psychology Today confirming what many of us |
| 0:17.5 | kind of already suspected. |
| 0:19.8 | Around half of all first marriages ended in divorce. |
| 0:23.4 | You might be surprised to know that second and third marriages fail at even a higher |
| 0:27.4 | rate with 67% of second marriages and 73% of third marriages ending in divorce. |
| 0:34.9 | But what if there is another way? |
| 0:36.8 | What if it were possible to get married and stay married negotiating the challenges |
| 0:42.4 | that marriage might bring? |
| 0:44.0 | Well, this is the heart of my conversation with my guest today, Tony and Carrie Newhoff. |
| 0:50.6 | A few years ago, Tony, who is a divorce attorney, published a book called Before You Split, |
| 0:56.4 | he's really offering advice to couples whose marriages are on that brink of divorce. |
| 1:01.6 | As an expert of close witness to the challenges of divorce and someone who has navigated |
| 1:06.6 | her own marital struggles, Tony has authored a book full of honest and practical advice |
| 1:12.0 | to help couples decide if divorce really is the best or only option. |
| 1:18.1 | If you're someone who's thinking about divorce or walking through a divorce or even close |
| 1:22.5 | to a person who's thinking about it, I encourage you to listen to this episode |
| 1:26.4 | and think through if there are any other options for you before you decide to split. |
| 1:31.8 | And this is a quick disclaimer. |
| 1:33.3 | The advice that Tony offers is for people who are in struggling marriages and not abusive |
| 1:38.0 | ones, and Tony will explain that in our conversation. |
... |
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