581: How to Repair and Heal Damaged Relationships

Achieve Your Goals with Hal Elrod

Hal Elrod

Goals, Lifesuccess, Success, Goalsetting, Halelrod, Business, Achievement, Lifestyle, Motivation, Productivity, Miraclemorning, Self-improvement, Education

4.8 • 1.4K Ratings

🗓️ 9 April 2025

⏱️ 49 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

According to a 75-year-old Harvard study on happiness, the single greatest predictor of a happy and long life is close, healthy relationships. But when a close relationship fractures, whether that’s with a close friend or especially your spouse, it can have a devastating impact on your mental and emotional wellbeing that can take months, if not years to overcome.

So today, I want to share a 5-step process for repairing and healing damaged relationships that’s truly been transformative in my own life. Over the past 6 months, I’ve repaired my relationship with my daughter and with my wife on more than one occasion. Whether you're the one who’s been hurt or the one who’s done the hurting, there’s a path forward—and it starts with humility, empathy, and a willingness to grow.

What I’ve found is that in order to move forward, we have to learn how to shift from blame to responsibility, how to truly listen to someone else’s pain without defensiveness, and why forgiveness—both for yourself and others—is essential to healing. This isn’t about quick fixes or pretending everything is okay. It’s about doing the hard but meaningful work of showing up with love, honesty, and vulnerability to restore the relationships that matter most in your life.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

Why healing a broken relationship starts with taking 100% responsibility
The importance of listening without judgment—even if it’s uncomfortable
Forgivingness can be difficult, but liberating yourself from anger is much healthier
You can’t force or rush the healing process or rebuild trust. It takes time
Practical steps to begin the healing process, even if the other person isn’t ready.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello and welcome to the Achieve Your Goals podcast, the show that empowers you to wake up to your full potential and achieve your biggest goals and dreams.
0:09.6	I am your host, Hal Elrod, and I invite you to join us each week as we share actionable strategies to take your life to the next level,
0:16.6	as well as interview world-class experts and entrepreneurs who have achieved extraordinary goals
0:21.9	themselves, and we ask them to give you a peek behind the curtain and teach you exactly what
0:26.3	you need to do to do the same. Ready? Here we go.
0:33.1	All right, I want to talk with you about something that every one of us has experienced at some point in our lives probably more than once, and that is damaged relationships, whether it is a friend that you haven't spoken to in years or a parent that let you down or a partner that hurt you or maybe that you hurt.
0:57.3	It's rarely easy, but it is possible to heal it is possible to repair a damage relationship to rebuild that relationship and although
1:04.5	healing doesn't always mean things go back to the way they were because sometimes it means
1:09.9	creating something even better, even stronger,
1:13.2	something more real, more honest, more human than ever existed before. And if you've gone
1:17.9	through a difficult relationship and come out on the other side of it, maybe it was a marriage.
1:22.2	I have friends. In fact, part of what inspired today's episode is I have friends that are,
1:26.1	they're married and married
1:27.5	for many years well over a decade and they've had a pretty tumultuous marriage a lot of challenges
1:32.7	and in recent time they have repaired rebuilt healed their relationship and they are the best
1:42.7	they've ever been and that should give hope to anyone
1:45.7	who they've been on the brink of divorce many times. And they're stronger and more mature
1:52.3	and more resilient and more connected because it wasn't always roses and butterflies. Is that the
2:00.2	phrase roses and butterflies? It wasn't
2:02.1	always that, right? It was really challenging and they were hanging on by a thin thread at times.
2:07.7	But because they committed to stay together, right? They're now in this blissful, and it's not just like
2:13.8	it's a sustainable, strong, connected, respectful, loving marriage because of a lot of the advice I'm going to share with you today.
	...

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