67: Losing Our Baby Broke Me, BUT I Never Told Her That feat. Mike Johnson

Lovers and Friends with Shan Boodram

Sexuality, Society & Culture, Relationships, Health & Fitness

5 • 5.5K Ratings

🗓️ 29 March 2023

⏱️ 37 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Up to 1 in 4 known pregnancies may end in miscarriage. For many of us, this stat is old news - but as we continue to have this conversation aloud after generations of keeping this pain private - what I do think is new is considering how the father feels about the loss. It seems like a no-brainer, but speaking from personal experience, it hadn’t really crossed my mind until recently. So, let’s talk about it with our special guest Mike Johnson on this episode of Lovers and Friends.

According to a study conducted by School of Sciences fathers displayed less “active grief” than their female partners, BUT they were more vulnerable to feelings of despair and difficulty in coping 8 weeks following the loss.
The National Library of Medicine found that of 40 men who’s partner had a miscarriage, 59% said they had a deepened awareness of the fragility of life, 45% mourned the loss of their family’s hopes and dreams, 40% reported a strong sense of vulnerability and powerlessness to help their wife and half did not share feelings with their partner at all.
These are numbers that I believe our starring guest can bring a face too, and this is a face you might recognize. Mike Johnson has already been a guest on Lovers and Friends in one of our biggest episodes “Tall, Dark, Handsome and Sexually Insecure.”

Follow Mike Johnson
http://instagram.com/mike_johnson
https://www.feelingseen.com/

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Sources:
https://time.com/3982471/men-are-the-forgotten-grievers-in-miscarriage/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/8064426/
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/02646839908404587#.Vb9xQc4qefQ

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	So you went into a depression of sorts?
0:03.0	Oh, for sure. It was a deep depression. It was bad.
0:05.0	I had spent a year at home. I let them go my job.
0:08.0	I used my entire savings, just live off of,
0:10.0	go my hair out, go my face out, look bad.
0:14.0	And in that time, I allowed myself to feel
0:18.0	and what I felt was like I lost my family.
0:28.0	Up to one and four known pregnancies may end in miscarriage.
0:33.0	Now, for many of us, this data is old news.
0:35.0	But as we continue to have this conversation allowed
0:37.0	after generations of keeping this pain private,
0:40.0	what I do think is new is considering how the
0:43.0	father feels about the loss.
0:45.0	Now, this seems like a no-brainer,
0:47.0	but speaking from personal experience,
0:49.0	it often hasn't occurred to me to ask.
0:53.0	And that's what we're talking about with special guest, Mike Johnson,
0:56.0	on this episode of...
1:06.0	A miscarriage is the most common type of pregnancy loss.
1:08.0	Miscarriages happen before the 20th week,
1:11.0	and they can happen if the fetus isn't developing normally,
1:14.0	or if there's an issue with the placenta,
	...

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