Welcome back to the other charm podcast to show where we bring you actionable tips and strategies and on a better connect socially boost your emotional intelligence and of course this month negotiate and win and of course I'm AJ and I'm Johnny.

In last week's episode we talked about negotiations from all walks of life whether you're negotiating a salary or you're trying to split the household chores with your significant other.

I feel like we were just getting it set up right this is part two we have we laid all the pieces out and we'll re examine them and make bring everyone back up to speed.

But today we're going to get into all the working components and what you can do to not a not shoot yourself at a foot and then go in and argue from a place of strength and cooperation.

That's the key is cooperation well if it's not cooperation that is competitive this and that is that's arguing from position and that's not going to get you very far exactly so last week we talked about the Harvard negotiation project yes which is all around creating win win scenarios for both parties and please review last week's episode because we break down in detail those strategies that you need to do to get those wins but in today's episode we're going to give you a few tips and techniques to help make the most of the negotiation.

And we know negotiation is stressful we also know that some of the most important decisions in our lives involve negotiating with another party so oftentimes we're negotiating with someone who's much more experienced than us you could imagine going into a car dealership and having to negotiate your new car well that happens what once every two to five years versus the person sitting across the table from you well that's a season car salesman he's selling multiple

cars every single day so we're going into the negotiation with an experienced disparity well I think also if you understand all the pieces know how they work and come and prepared you can actually get excited about the negotiation because it's going to be a learning process and you're going to be better for having experienced that.

However if you don't understand those components and you haven't done your research yes it's going to be a miserable stressful experience and you can also get tied up and focusing on the wrong things which I definitely want to be talking about.

Exactly and of course preparation is key we're going to be delving into that but the first thing we want to talk about is something that I think happens to all of us when we get in a stressful situation and that's pressure and when we feel this pressure it actually

works against us in a negotiation patience is actually key the best negotiating strategies involve you being willing and able to walk away from that deal if the other party feels that you're not going to be walking away and there's a harsh timeline on this decision well you've given them an advantage and I know Johnny you're smiling because we have an example so we're going to kick this episode off with an example that we had in our career at the art of charm and it's going to be a great deal.

I know it was with a former staff member of ours.

Yeah this is like this is a very common scenario and so in the prep for today it came the mind and I know that reliving this experience will both put us in a probably a bit of emotional mood at the beginning.

However it happened long enough ago that we could laugh at it.

Yeah this is about eight years ago so but we're also going to dive into all the miscomponents there and what made this so bad and then what this person could have done

to make this better and for everyone out there who is listening in what you need to set up in order to be the best for your possible position and negotiation.

So we had a situation with the former staff member we were coming out of Thanksgiving break it was the middle of December and they sent me an email.

Yes and the email was something long lines of we need to talk should we lay the whole thing out and then go piece by piece of why each one was wrong.

Sure. All right so I'm going to make some bullet points so first email.

So go ahead. So of course this is someone that we work with closely in fact always at the office lived at the office at the time so an email is really one of the most impersonal ways to start a negotiation.

We're near hoping for a win win scenario so we need to talk subject line with an email that immediately starts dictating the terms of said negotiation.

Without me even understanding that there was something that needed to be negotiated.

Yes so I don't want to let's lay the whole thing out then we'll go piece by piece.

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