#93a: Noobs (Kevin Heffernan, Steve Lemme, Ari Shaffir)

Ari Shaffir's Skeptic Tank

Ari Shaffir

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4.6 • 6.7K Ratings

🗓️ 24 December 2012

⏱️ 110 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Steve Lemme had Kevin Heffernan and I over to his house so we could all talk about what it's like starting standup comedy. I've been wanting to talk to somebody about it for a long time, but those comics are usually so new that they aren't quite funny enough. Lemme and Heffernan have been funny for over a decade already. We talked about learning the art form, dealing with drunks, and Christmas.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Music
0:04.0	Grammar got run over by a reindeer Walking home from our house Christmas Eve
0:12.0	You can say there's no such thing as Santa But as for me and Grammar we believe
0:21.0	She'd been drinking too much eggnog And we begged her not to go
0:29.0	Merry Christmas or whatever it is Christmas Eve
0:35.0	Why does he say ho ho ho by the way? Why does Santa Claus laugh like that?
0:41.0	That doesn't, no one laughs that way
0:45.0	Nobody laughs that way Let me try to do the actual acting it out
0:49.0	Say something funny
0:53.0	Why would he laugh before he says Merry Christmas?
0:58.0	First of all, fat people, if you're going to say that's why fat people are jolly
1:02.0	They're really not that jolly except when they're eating
1:05.0	And then right before they eat, they're super un jolly
1:09.0	You remember hung out with a fat person when he's like hey what are we going to eat already?
1:13.0	They're not, they're very upset
1:16.0	So I don't buy that he laughs like that, it's creepy and weird
1:19.0	But anyway, Merry Christmas Eve everybody, welcome to the Christmas episode
1:23.0	It's got nothing to do with Christmas but it is Christmas 2012
1:27.0	Merry whatever you guys celebrate is the first show I don't give a shit about Christmas
1:33.0	I mean in a negative way I used to like fight against it and like
1:37.0	God it's not my it's the Jew holiday that we don't celebrate this
1:41.0	And we're hungry, it doesn't mean anything
	...

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