Adult Children of a Narcissist

Trauma & Narcissism Redefined

Caroline Strawson

Narcissisticabuse, Health & Fitness, Narcissist, Self-improvement, Education, Recovery, Mental Health, Trauma

4.8 • 701 Ratings

🗓️ 24 August 2021

⏱️ 16 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Today's episode is directed to parents who went through abusive narcissistic relationships and who have adult children. We will talk about how triggering it can be to watch our adult child taking our place in that abusive relationship, and the best way to deal with it. I share some advice on how to talk to our children in these situations, and how to deal with the challenging circumstance of seeing our child becoming a narcissist.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

- The difference between co-parenting young children and adult children with a narcissist

- What is the best way to talk to our adult children about their narcissistic parent

- Why our children look more aggressive with us than with the narcissistic parent

- How to protect our relationship with our adult children

Questioning our children why they are still in touch with their narcissistic parent has the same effect as asking a victim of domestic abuse why they don't leave their partner. Their system makes them feel weaker, worthless, and even more powerless, and we must wait for our children to see things for themselves, as well as accept that perhaps they never will.

Resources:

- Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse

- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse

- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/

- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Welcome to the narcissistic trauma recovery podcast. I'm Caroline Strawson and I'll be sharing with you
0:09.5	awareness, understanding and education about the devastating effects of narcissistic abuse to help you thrive.
0:16.4	I want you to know that I've been exactly where you are and I believe you. And this show is all
0:22.8	about taking you from trauma to transformation. So I wanted to do an episode because I'm getting
0:33.0	quite a lot of questions at the moment from people who have been through a narcissistic relationship
0:38.4	and who have got children. And you will know, I've done many other videos around a child's trauma
0:45.0	response to the narcissistic parent. But a lot of people are contacting me recently that they
0:50.9	have adult children and what do they do when their children are adults?
0:55.5	And a number of things are coming up like this.
0:58.4	And I'm thinking of a couple of messages in particular recently where the couple have a child
1:04.6	and the child or adult because they're in their 20s is now living with the narcissistic parent. And the mum or the dad,
1:12.9	who isn't the narcissist, is really concerned and wondering, do I say something to the adult child
1:20.7	in this situation? Wondering whether to warn the adult child, whether to say something,
1:30.3	because very often the adult child, particularly to say something, because very often the adult child,
1:35.3	particularly if they go on and live with the narcissistic parent, almost takes your place.
1:42.4	So it can be so difficult for you having been that person, the person being abused in that relationship. You are now out of that and that's obviously a good
1:46.3	thing. But what you can see then is your adult child is almost taking your place. And that can be
1:52.0	triggering for you in a number of ways. One, I am a bad mom or a bad father. My child is still in that
1:58.9	situation, lots of feelings of guilt, feelings of shame. And it can really
2:05.0	highlight some of your own wounds too. And I suppose I wanted to do this episode really to give you
2:10.4	some strategy and some advice of what you can do if you do find yourself in that situation where
2:16.2	you are separated parents, you have adult
	...

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