Anger At The Narcissist
Trauma & Narcissism Redefined
Caroline Strawson
4.8 • 701 Ratings
🗓️ 17 August 2021
⏱️ 15 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this episode, we will have a conversation about anger. We will analyse the difference between regulated and dysregulated anger, its long-term effects, and what happens within us when we feel angry. We will also look at anger through the Internal Family System lens to understand why it scratches the scab of our worthiness wounds.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- How dysregulated anger is a sympathetic trauma response
- Why our protective parts choose anger to deal with some issues
- Can being stuck in anger for a long time be a natural part of a healing process?
- The questions we must pose to our angry, protective parts
If we approach our angry, protective parts with curiosity, looking beyond the anger and trying to understand what those parts are trying to distract us from, we will look at what triggered us in a different way. We will realise that our system is trying to soothe the pain from our wounded, younger part.
Resources:
- Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™
https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the narcissistic trauma recovery podcast. I'm Caroline Strawson and I'll be sharing with you |
| 0:09.5 | awareness, understanding and education about the devastating effects of narcissistic abuse to help you thrive. |
| 0:16.4 | I want you to know that I've been exactly where you are and I believe you. |
| 0:21.3 | And this show is all about taking you from trauma to transformation. |
| 0:30.1 | So I've been wanting to do this episode for a while around anger. |
| 0:35.3 | I really held on to anger for a really long time and whilst anger in some situations |
| 0:41.9 | may be productive, because there's a difference between regulated anger and dysregulated anger. |
| 0:48.0 | And for a very long time, I really felt like I was dysregulated feeling anger. So first I want |
| 0:53.2 | to explain really what happens within us when we feel |
| 0:56.7 | angry on why we feel that way. So anger in a dysregulated way is a sympathetic trauma response. |
| 1:04.0 | So we start to produce more cortisol and it floods our body because our perception of something |
| 1:10.4 | that is happening is dangerous. |
| 1:13.1 | So think about a time maybe when you've got really angry with your children, |
| 1:16.8 | maybe with your parent, a friend, a partner. |
| 1:20.0 | You've just got really, really angry. |
| 1:23.0 | It's almost like it's consuming you. |
| 1:25.0 | And this level of anger is when we've dipped into our sympathetic nervous system, |
| 1:29.3 | and this is all to do with our perception of danger. So when we are dealing with things in a logical |
| 1:34.9 | and rational way, we are very much in the front part of our brain, which is called the prefrontal |
| 1:39.3 | cortex. So we can see things as challenging. Sometimes we may feel a little bit angry about stuff as well, like, oh, that's not fair. |
| 1:46.6 | But we recognize we're still safe in our environment. |
| 1:49.7 | That moment that we don't feel safe, because this comes from our past experiences, we go into a sympathetic trauma response and we might feel really, really angry. |
... |
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