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Wherever you are in the world and in your grief, I'm glad you're here. Welcome to all there is.

Hi. I have never shared anything like this before.

I'm still going through the thousands of voicemails left by podcast listeners last season.

And it's about when a parent or loved one dies and you've had a very, very contentious relationship.

Hearing your stories, I'm struck by the complexity of grief. There's so many different

emotions involved, so many different kinds of grief, particularly when you've had a difficult

relationship with the person you've lost. My dad was extremely emotionally abusive to me

pretty much every day of my life, But he was also a very beloved and

well-respected doctor. There were times I hoped for him to be dead. I remember reading a sigh of

release. A relationship was tough. There was a lot of verbal abuse. I love my father and my life

is easier without him in it.

And I've never heard anyone say that, and I hope that is helpful for someone.

Grief is complicated, and my guest today learned that early on.

Andrew Sullivan is a writer and podcaster with a big following

on Substack at the Weekly Dish. When I first met him in the early 1990s, he was the editor of the

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