Being "Nice" Is Wrecking Your Confidence
The Confidence Podcast: Confidence Tips for Self-Esteem, Self-Worth, Self-Love, Self-Confidence and Courage to Overcome Self-
Trish Blackwell | Life Coach, Confidence Coach, Mindset Coach
4.9 • 1.4K Ratings
🗓️ 22 April 2025
⏱️ 26 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
What’s the difference between being kind… and being nice?
If you’ve ever found yourself people-pleasing, avoiding conflict, or trying to “keep the peace” even when it costs you your authenticity—this episode is for you.
We’re talking about kindness versus niceness. Two words that sound similar, but are wildly different in how they impact your confidence, your boundaries, your relationships, and your self-respect.
If you’ve ever caught yourself over-apologizing, saying yes when you really mean no, avoiding conflict, or trying to keep everyone else happy—this episode is your invitation to pause and ask:
👉 Am I being kind… or am I just being nice?
Niceness often comes from fear—fear of rejection, fear of disappointing people, fear of not being liked.
But kindness—real kindness—is rooted in courage, clarity, and compassion.
Kindness might say no.
Kindness might speak up.
Kindness doesn’t always feel good in the moment, but it’s always rooted in truth and respect—for others and for yourself.
We’re going to talk about the difference, why “being nice” is often a confidence trap, how to detox from people-pleasing, and how to step into strong, gracious, authentic kindness—without losing your softness, your generosity, or your beautiful heart.
This episode is for the woman who’s done being walked on.
It’s for the woman who’s tired of playing small.
And it’s for the woman who knows there’s more to life than just being liked.
So grab a notebook, pour that second cup of coffee, and let’s shift some narratives together—because today, you’re going to start showing up in a new way… one rooted in confidence, courage, and kindness that actually transforms lives—starting with your own.
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Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | What's the difference between being kind and being nice? |
| 0:07.3 | If you've ever found yourself people pleasing, avoiding conflict, or trying to keep the peace, |
| 0:13.0 | even when it costs you your authenticity, even if it gets you sucked into a people-pleasing cycle, |
| 0:19.8 | this episode is for you. We're talking about the difference |
| 0:23.2 | between kindness, but the difference it makes in your confidence and the courage it takes |
| 0:29.2 | to stop, quote-unquote, being nice. Because when nice girls keep pursuing just being nice girls, we often play small. |
| 0:41.4 | We end up burned out, overlooked, and resentful. |
| 0:46.5 | And so this conversation that we're going to have on today's episode might challenge you, |
| 0:49.8 | but I think it's going to be in a very, very good way. |
| 0:53.4 | And I truly believe it will liberate you because when you stop striving to be liked |
| 0:58.1 | and start choosing kindness and you choose kindness from a place of strength and identity |
| 1:04.5 | versus trying to earn an approval or opinion, y'all, everything changes. So grab your coffee. If you're on the treadmill, |
| 1:13.9 | buckle up, turn that speed up because you're going to get pumped up, get comfy. Let's dive into |
| 1:19.0 | what it really needs to be kind, not nice, and how that is actually one of the keys to becoming |
| 1:25.2 | more confident, more compassionate, and more |
| 1:28.0 | courageous version of you. I want you to walk away from today's episode with clarity about |
| 1:35.0 | why kindness wins over niceness every single time. You're listening to the Confidence |
| 1:42.9 | podcast, the go-to coaching podcast, oozing with |
| 1:46.5 | motivation and easy to implement steps that help you to be bold and confident in life. |
| 1:53.6 | I'm your host, Trish Blackwell, internationally recognized confidence coach, |
| 1:57.7 | best-selling author, and founder of the College of Confidence. I teach go-getters in life how to master their self-talk, turn down the volume of self-doubt, |
| 2:06.5 | and get more results in life so that you can be the difference maker and world changer |
... |
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