Betrayal Trauma and Restoring Trust | Q&A Discussion

Conversations with Dr. Jennifer

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

Self-improvement, Education, Mental Health, Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.4 • 978 Ratings

🗓️ 8 January 2025

⏱️ 42 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

**Learn more about Dr. Finlayson-Fife's Intimate Deception mini-course HERE** Navigating the aftermath of a disclosure or discovery of intimate deception (including emotional or physical infidelity, pornography use, financial deception, etc.) is a painful and complicated process. In this Q&A session, Dr. Finlayson-Fife addresses audience questions about emotional and sexual infidelity and gives guidance on what is required for couples to rebuild trust and connection after there has been a breach of trust in the marriage.

Transcript

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0:00.0	It's not his job to get you to trust him.
0:04.0	It's his job to be trustworthy.
0:06.0	You know, a lot of us use this language of, I need to show my spouse that I love them.
0:11.0	And that's, in my view, the idea that I need to get them to see that I love them rather than I need to be loving.
0:20.0	I don't need to get you to trust me. I need to know that I love them rather than I need to be loving. I don't need to get you to trust me.
0:22.1	I need to know that I trust worthy.
0:24.4	You can decide whether or not you're going to open your heart back up to me.
0:27.8	There's reason for you not to.
0:30.0	You are in control of that.
0:43.5	Welcome to conversations with Dr. Jennifer, a collection of interviews on the topics of relationships,
0:49.0	sexuality, spirituality, and more, all featuring Dr. Finlayson-Fife.
1:03.0	I'm going to be talking today a little bit about infidelity and deception in partnerships and how to think about what establishing trust is about, what that means, how you can know.
1:14.8	A lot of us are looking to establish trust when trust has been broken.
1:21.6	And it matters to us a lot often.
1:24.4	And so that is to say that the idea of reestablishing trust
1:30.2	matters to us because we don't like not being able to trust our partners clearly. And so
1:35.8	I'm going to respond specifically one of the questions I think that was submitted anonymously
1:40.0	and use that as the kind of reference point for answering this question, but I'll be answering it a little bit more broadly.
1:47.7	Hello, everyone. I'd love to hear about your experiences recovering from deception or breaches and trust in your relationships.
1:55.1	I discovered some evidence of emotional infidelity a year ago with my spouse. He didn't bring it up.
2:02.1	We talked fairly extensively, and I don't blame him entirely for the issues related, hence me working on my
2:07.2	relationship to desire so I can be a better self and show up better in my marriage.
	...

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