Conversations with Dr. Jennifer

Many people long for more ease and passion in their sexual relationship—but unknowingly bring meanings to sex that interfere with both. When sex becomes a duty to fulfill, a performance to manage, or a tool to reassure a partner, it loses the very energy that makes it feel alive. The pressure to produce intimacy, validation, or an orgasm can quietly unravel the conditions that desire needs in order to thrive. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife uses questions from her audience to unpack why so many of us struggle to feel ease and desire in our sexual relationship—and what we can do to can create a more soulful and passionate connection with our partner. ___ Join us for the Art of Desire Workshop in Gilbert, Arizona next week! Use code DESIRE to SAVE $100

Transcribed - Published: 16 April 2025

It's hard to know how to address doubts, concerns, or frustrations about the church, especially because we tend to link "goodness" with being unquestioning.   Many worry that sharing their experiences or voicing their concerns will be misconstrued as a lack of faith or a full rejection of the gospel. The temptation is to stay silent in an effort to preserve harmony—or to speak up but in ways that ultimately shut down understanding, but neither of these approaches allow for the type of meaningful conversations that are requisite for creating positive change. In this powerful conversation, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Amy Watkins Jensen of Women on the Stand to discuss how women can engage in meaningful and honest conversations about their experiences in the Church and how daring to do so is what will allow us to create more honest and inclusive faith communities. ___  Join Dr. Finlayson-Fife in Arizona for the Art of Desire Workshop! Click HERE and use code DESIRE to SAVE $100

Transcribed - Published: 10 April 2025

When sex feels like an obligation rather than a choice, it erodes intimacy, fosters resentment, and leaves partners feeling distant and disconnected. In this powerful Q&A discussion, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife explores the complexities of "duty sex" including what drives it and the detrimental impact it has on relationships. She discusses the powerful meanings we attach to sex, and how these meanings can either undermine desire by creating a sense of obligation or foster connection through choice and mutual desire. She offers insight into how both higher and lower-desire partners can step away from patterns of pressure and compliance and cultivate a more fulfilling sexual relationship built on mutual desire, authentic connection, and a sense of being truly chosen.  

Transcribed - Published: 2 April 2025

When sex feels like an obligation rather than a choice, it erodes intimacy, fosters resentment, and leaves partners feeling distant and disconnected. In this powerful Q&A discussion, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife explores the complexities of "duty sex" including what drives it and the detrimental impact it has on relationships. She discusses the powerful meanings we attach to sex, and how these meanings can either undermine desire by creating a sense of obligation or foster connection through choice and mutual desire. She offers insight into how both higher and lower-desire partners can step away from patterns of pressure and compliance and cultivate a more fulfilling sexual relationship built on mutual desire, authentic connection, and a sense of being truly chosen.  

Transcribed - Published: 2 April 2025

Dan and Marie were happy enough in their marriage, until they started listening to Room for Two. Listening to the Dave and Carly series woke them up to the fact that even though their marriage was peaceful and good, it wasn’t as honest as they had believed it to be, and they wanted to create something better. So they got to work – listened to podcasts, worked through courses, and even attended a couples’ workshop. Their efforts to bring more honesty and authenticity to the marriage paid off and they caught occasional glimpses of what their relationship was really capable of, but... old habits die hard, and despite the progress, they often find themselves slipping into their familiar pattern of trying to manage how they are seen and experienced, which leaves their sexual engagement feeling lackluster and “vanilla.” In this episode of Room for Two, Dr. Jennifer works with Dan and Marie to help them better understand what their intimate relationship is exposing about their relational dynamic, and how honesty and authenticity will open the door for them to create the spark and passion that they long for. Want to hear the FULL episode? Subscribe to Room for Two and gain immediate access to this and over 100 other full-length Room for Two episodes!

Transcribed - Published: 18 March 2025

A woman's arousal is highly connected to her sense of freedom in her relationship. Yet so many of us create relational realities where women don't feel free — where sex is about managing a spouse's sense of self or "needs." In this mindset sex becomes another job to do. And as Esther Perel says, "sex can be work or play, but it cannot be both." When you create a relationship with your spouse where you feel free to be who you are, free from managing their sense of self, and free to show your strength, sex becomes a place you want to be —a place of ease. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife answers questions about female arousal and orgasm. She discusses the impact of societal and personal beliefs on women's sexual experiences, the connection between emotional freedom and sexual well-being, and offers practical advice for overcoming common challenges women face such as performance anxiety, self-judgment, and the aftermath of sexual trauma. To learn more about this topic, enroll in Dr. Finlayson-Fife's Art of Desire course! Or, better yet, join us for one of our upcoming Art of Desire Events! 

Transcribed - Published: 12 March 2025

A woman's arousal is highly connected to her sense of freedom in her relationship. Yet so many of us create relational realities where women don't feel free — where sex is about managing a spouse's sense of self or "needs." In this mindset sex becomes another job to do. And as Esther Perel says, "sex can be work or play, but it cannot be both." When you create a relationship with your spouse where you feel free to be who you are, free from managing their sense of self, and free to show your strength, sex becomes a place you want to be —a place of ease. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife answers questions about female arousal and orgasm. She discusses the impact of societal and personal beliefs on women's sexual experiences, the connection between emotional freedom and sexual well-being, and offers practical advice for overcoming common challenges women face such as performance anxiety, self-judgment, and the aftermath of sexual trauma. To learn more about this topic, enroll in Dr. Finlayson-Fife's Art of Desire course! Or, better yet, join us for one of our upcoming Art of Desire Events! 

Transcribed - Published: 12 March 2025

Many of those who develop a compulsive relationship with pornography aren’t just looking for sexual gratification—they’re looking for a type of relief.  These are often people who appear most put together on the outside—the responsible student, the dedicated churchgoer, the child who carries the family’s expectations. With little space to process stress or be truly known, pornography becomes a tempting, private escape from the pressures of life. But over time, this creates a growing divide between their public persona and private reality, reinforcing shame and deepening their sense of fracture and isolation. This pattern often carries into marriage, where rather than risk the exposures of real intimacy and connection with a spouse, porn continues to be an easy escape.  In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Taylor Chambers to discuss how we can turn challenges related to pornography into opportunities for personal and relational growth. They explore the systemic issues that contribute to porn use, the impact that unwanted porn use has on marriages, and how we can use conflict and crisis in our relationships as opportunities to learn more about ourselves and create meaningful growth in our capacity for real intimacy. _________ In the episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife discusses the Zach and Kelly Room for Two series. Subscribe to Room for Two to listen to the entire 7-episode series! Dr. Finlayson-Fife also mentions her upcoming Art of Loving Retreat in St. George, Utah. You can join the interest list for that retreat HERE.

Transcribed - Published: 4 March 2025

With a changing body and shifting relational roles, midlife can be a challenging time for many women, but it is also an important time of self-discovery and self-definition, a time that we can more fully embrace who we are, and experience tremendous personal and relational growth. In this conversation, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Dr. Mallorie Cracroft of the Uplift for Her podcast to discuss the unique challenges and opportunities that women face during midlife. They dive into the physical, emotional, and relational shifts that happen as we age and how these changes can impact our sense of who we are. They also explore how women can live with more authenticity and self-acceptance, and how doing so paves the way for richer experiences, even (especially!) in later years. Click HERE to learn more about Dr. Finlayson-Fife's Art of Desire course for women OR join us for the Art of Desire Retreat in Oregon this fall!

Transcribed - Published: 18 February 2025

When couples are in an erotic, thriving marriage, it's not about new sex positions, it's about creating a relationship where there is a sense of aliveness and authenticity. And nothing creates this type of energy in a relationship more than intimacy--really knowing your spouse and being known by them in return. Passionate marriages are for those who are courageous enough to let go of the masking and the attempts to control and instead bring their full, imperfect selves to the other and tolerate letting their spouse know them enough to really choose them (imperfections and all). In this powerful Q&A session, Dr. Finlayson-Fife takes questions from her audience about how to keep passion alive in long term marriages. Want to learn more? Enroll in Dr. Finlayson-Fife's Enhancing Sexual Intimacy course -- currently 20% off for Valentine's Day! OR join us in St. George later this month for three full days of learning for Dr. Finlayson-Fife!

Transcribed - Published: 11 February 2025

When couples are in an erotic, thriving marriage, it's not about new sex positions, it's about creating a relationship where there is a sense of aliveness and authenticity. And nothing creates this type of energy in a relationship more than intimacy--really knowing your spouse and being known by them in return. Passionate marriages are for those who are courageous enough to let go of the masking and the attempts to control and instead bring their full, imperfect selves to the other and tolerate letting their spouse know them enough to really choose them (imperfections and all). In this powerful Q&A session, Dr. Finlayson-Fife takes questions from her audience about how to keep passion alive in long term marriages. Want to learn more? Enroll in Dr. Finlayson-Fife's Enhancing Sexual Intimacy course -- currently 20% off for Valentine's Day!

Transcribed - Published: 11 February 2025

Most relationships start with a spark, a strong desire for sexual connection with the other. But as the years pass by the spark often fizzles, and our partners can start to feel like coworkers as our focus shifts to managing schedules, balancing budgets, and keeping up with the kids. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins host EmyLee McIntyre of the Limitless Female podcast to discuss how we can keep the spark in our marriages ALIVE amidst the responsibilities and drudgery of adulthood, and how sexuality doesn't just belong in the margins of our lives, but can be woven into the day to day in the way we connect with and relate to ourselves and our partner. This episode isn't just about getting the spark back, it's about transforming how you see and experience intimacy in your marriage. Listen to learn more about: - Intimacy beyond intercourse - The impact of anxiety / depression (including medication) on desire   - Agency and choice in sexuality - "Fighting Fair" in marriage  - Prioritizing partnership In the episode, EmyLee mentions how much she loves the Room for Two podcast. You can learn more about the podcast HERE. **Join us in St. George for the Strengthening Your Relationship couples' retreat! Learn more HERE!**

Transcribed - Published: 4 February 2025

Despite their reactions to our attempts to discuss it, our children are looking to us to help them make sense of their sexuality. And while the prospect of talking to kids about sex can feel daunting, these conversations—no matter how imperfect—make it clear to our children that we care about them, are invested in their wellbeing, and can handle discussing difficult topics with them. During this 2024 Restore presentation, Dr. Finlayson-Fife shares valuable insights on how parents can foster an ongoing, healthy, and honest dialogue with their children about sex and how doing so will empower them to make informed, confident, and integrity-driven choices around sexuality. For a deeper exploration on these topics, enroll in Dr. Finlayson-Fife's recently updated How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex course! **Through 1/31/25 you can SAVE $200 on The Art of Desire Retreat w/code EARLYBIRD**

Transcribed - Published: 28 January 2025

Last chance to join us for the Enhancing Sexual Intimacy Webinar - Click HERE for details! Many of us received messages about our bodies, modesty, and sexuality that were driven by fear and the idea that our sexual impulses are stronger than we are. For many of us, those fear-based messages made it difficult to feel at peace with our bodies and our sexual nature. If we want to teach about these important topics in a healthier way, it's imperative to focus on the good -- that our bodies and sexuality are God-given and an important part of who we are. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins the hosts of Saints Unscripted for an important discussion about modesty. They talk about the impact that cultural misunderstandings about modesty have had and how we can rethink what it means to be modest. They also discuss how we can teach our children about modesty in a way that is less about restrictions and guidelines and more about protecting and valuing the incredible gift of their sexuality. **Join us for the Strengthening Your Relationship Retreat!**

Transcribed - Published: 14 January 2025

**Learn more about Dr. Finlayson-Fife's Intimate Deception mini-course HERE** Navigating the aftermath of a disclosure or discovery of intimate deception (including emotional or physical infidelity, pornography use, financial deception, etc.) is a painful and complicated process. In this Q&A session, Dr. Finlayson-Fife addresses audience questions about emotional and sexual infidelity and gives guidance on what is required for couples to rebuild trust and connection after there has been a breach of trust in the marriage.

Transcribed - Published: 8 January 2025

**Learn more about Dr. Finlayson-Fife's Intimate Deception mini-course HERE** Navigating the aftermath of a disclosure or discovery of intimate deception (including emotional or physical infidelity, pornography use, financial deception, etc.) is a painful and complicated process. In this Q&A session, Dr. Finlayson-Fife addresses audience questions about emotional and sexual infidelity and gives guidance on what is required for couples to rebuild trust and connection after there has been a breach of trust in the marriage.

Transcribed - Published: 8 January 2025

**Join us for the Strengthening Your Relationship Retreat!** One of our most challenging tasks as parents is to keep track of what our responsibilities are as our children grow. Stepping back as they mature and allowing them the space to sort out their own lives and path can be incredibly difficult, especially if you are concerned that their choices will have a negative impact on their well-being. In our fear and worry for them, it can be easy to mistake manipulation with love. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Tina Gosney of the "Coaching Your Family Relationships" podcast to discuss some of the challenges that parents face when their child steps away from family faith traditions and how parents can best support and love their children, even when their worldviews diverge.

Transcribed - Published: 1 January 2025

In this special Christmas edition Q&A, Dr. Finlayson-Fife took questions from her audience about difficult family dynamics, communication difficulties, and other relational difficulties that tend to come to the fore during the holidays. THIS WEEKEND ONLY you can enter to win a FREE Enhancing Sexual Intimacy Webinar ticket (a $595 value!) by purchasing any full-length online course (all 20% off for Christmas!)! The lucky winner will be notified on December 23rd. And don't forget--Room for Two is on sale THIS WEEKEND ONLY with code Jolly. Merry Christmas, everyone!

Transcribed - Published: 21 December 2024

In this special Christmas edition Q&A, Dr. Finlayson-Fife took questions from her audience about difficult family dynamics, communication difficulties, and other relational difficulties that tend to come to the fore during the holidays. Merry Christmas, everyone!

Transcribed - Published: 21 December 2024

**CHRISTMAS SALE | LAST DAY FOR FREE EXPEDITED SHIPPING!** When you’ve been betrayed, it can be instinctive to distance yourself from sexuality altogether. But what we need most in the aftermath of betrayal is deeper strength within ourselves, and this internal strength is developed by coming to peace with ourselves, including our bodies and our sexual nature. In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Ashlyn Mitchell of the This Is Ashlynn podcast to discuss the obstacles and anxieties that many women face as they move forward in the aftermath of betrayal and what resources are available to them as they do the difficult work of understanding and reclaiming their relationship to themselves and their sexuality. You can watch the recording of this episode HERE. 

Transcribed - Published: 18 December 2024

**Join us for the Enhancing Sexual Intimacy Webinar -- click HERE for ticket information** During this Q&A Discussion, Dr. Jennifer addresses questions from her audience about various issues related to low sexual desire (particularly in men). She highlights the importance of understanding the biological, psychological, and relational factors that impact sexual desire and offers input on how couples can address their sexual anxieties and improve their sexual dynamic. If you would like to learn more about how to address the difficulties in your sexual relationship, consider enrolling in the Enhancing Sexual Intimacy course or joining us for the upcoming Enhancing Sexual Intimacy webinar. You can watch the recording of this discussion HERE.

Transcribed - Published: 11 December 2024

During this Q&A Discussion, Dr. Jennifer addresses questions from her audience about various issues related to low sexual desire (particularly in men). She highlights the importance of understanding the biological, psychological, and relational factors that impact sexual desire and offers input on how couples can address their sexual anxieties and improve their sexual dynamic. If you would like to learn more about how to address the difficulties in your sexual relationship, consider enrolling in the Enhancing Sexual Intimacy course or joining us for the upcoming Enhancing Sexual Intimacy webinar. You can watch the recording of this discussion HERE.

Transcribed - Published: 11 December 2024

The ability to self-author is a crucial developmental milestone—one that many adults struggle to achieve. To self-author is to develop an inner moral compass. It is to develop the self-trust that can guide us in making principled, honest choices in the face of life’s challenges without dependency on others to tell us who to be or what is true.  The ability to self-author is important in being able to create solid, close relationships.  And because it matters for our happiness, it is especially important for parents to foster this ability in their teenagers.  In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Christi Davis [host of the “Liking the People You Love” podcast] to explore how parents can support teens through their turbulent transition into adulthood. They discuss how parents can create thoughtful, value-based guidelines around sexuality—particularly on topics like modesty and masturbation—that prioritize the child’s well-being. And how parents can foster their teen’s ability to make self-directed decisions driven by their highest values rather than fear, shame, or conformity.

Transcribed - Published: 26 November 2024

Our bodies are incredibly wise. Our limbic system in particular is very effective at keeping us safe from immediate danger. But while this protective mechanism serves an important purpose, it can also create lasting challenges when it remains vigilant and intrusive long after the real danger has passed. For those who have experienced sexual trauma, a common and intuitive response is to distance ourselves from sexuality or even shut it down entirely to protect against further harm. While this reaction is understandable, it can create a deep disconnection from a core part of who we are. This disconnection not only disrupts our sense of peace and ease in our own bodies, it can also impact our capacity for intimacy–both emotional and sexual. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife answers audience questions about the impact of sexual trauma on relationships and well-being. She explores the body’s self-protective response, the impact on our sense of self, and how those who have experienced trauma can move toward healing. Resources mentioned in the episode: "Living at the Bottom of the Ocean" [Dr. Schnarch's final manuscript] * The Body Keeps the Score * Brain Talk * Subscribe to Room for Two! *Dr. Finlayson-Fife earns a small commission when products are purchased through these links 

Transcribed - Published: 20 November 2024

Our bodies are incredibly wise. Our limbic system in particular is very effective at keeping us safe from immediate danger. But while this protective mechanism serves an important purpose, it can also create lasting challenges when it remains vigilant and intrusive long after the real danger has passed. For those who have experienced sexual trauma, a common and intuitive response is to distance ourselves from sexuality or even shut it down entirely to protect against further harm. While this reaction is understandable, it can create a deep disconnection from a core part of who we are. This disconnection not only disrupts our sense of peace and ease in our own bodies, it can also impact our capacity for intimacy–both emotional and sexual. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife answers audience questions about the impact of sexual trauma on relationships and well-being. She explores the body’s self-protective response, the impact on our sense of self, and how those who have experienced trauma can move toward healing. Resources mentioned in the episode: "Living at the Bottom of the Ocean" [Dr. Schnarch's final manuscript] * The Body Keeps the Score * Brain Talk * Subscribe to Room for Two! *Dr. Finlayson-Fife earns a small commission when products are purchased through these links 

Transcribed - Published: 20 November 2024

**Join us on Friday, November 15th at 11 AM MT for a FREE Facebook Live on Sexuality After Trauma | Click HERE to Reserve Your Spot!** In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Jen Banks and Sarah Ziroll of The Best Birth Podcast to discuss the impact that pregnancy and postpartum can have on sexual desire and intimacy. This period of intense emotional and physical transition can often be challenging, but Dr. Finlayson-Fife teaches how with self-regulation, compassion, and understanding couples can actually use this period as an opportunity to grow closer together. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: * The importance of self-compassion * What resentment is trying to teach us * Body image during pregnancy You can watch the recording of this conversation on our YouTube channel HERE.

Transcribed - Published: 13 November 2024

When you or your loved ones' relationship to faith shifts, it can feel as though the world is collapsing beneath you. Because, in a very real sense, it is.  When we are early in our development (which most of us are) our primary concern is feeling a sense of safety and then belonging in our social groups. So when our thinking no longer aligns with our faith community (or family, or spouse), it pushes on the very question of who we are and whether or not we still belong in our group. These are uncomfortable questions but ones that are fundamental to our moral and spiritual growth. When we are courageous enough to sort out our own relationship with faith and God we can forge a better internal compass and a deeper relationship to our own integrity. It is in our willingness to live honestly, even when we risk disappointing others, that we can develop a faith robust enough to withstand the complexities of living and loving in an imperfect world. During this hopeful discussion, Dr. Finlayson-Fife addressed questions from her audience about faith development, how to find peace when our thinking doesn't align with our group, and how our understanding of faith and relationship to spirituality can change over the course of a lifetime. You can watch the recording of this discussion HERE.

Transcribed - Published: 6 November 2024

When you or your loved ones' relationship to faith shifts, it can feel as though the world is collapsing beneath you. Because, in a very real sense, it is.  When we are early in our development (which most of us are) our primary concern is feeling a sense of safety and then belonging in our social groups. So when our thinking no longer aligns with our faith community (or family, or spouse), it pushes on the very question of who we are and whether or not we still belong in our group. These are uncomfortable questions but ones that are fundamental to our moral and spiritual growth. When we are courageous enough to sort out our own relationship with faith and God we can forge a better internal compass and a deeper relationship to our own integrity. It is in our willingness to live honestly, even when we risk disappointing others, that we can develop a faith robust enough to withstand the complexities of living and loving in an imperfect world. During this hopeful discussion, Dr. Finlayson-Fife addressed questions from her audience about faith development, how to find peace when our thinking doesn't align with our group, and how our understanding of faith and relationship to spirituality can change over the course of a lifetime. You can watch the recording of this discussion HERE.

Transcribed - Published: 6 November 2024

Save $100 on The Art of Loving Retreat! This week, we are rereleasing one of our most popular episodes of all time! In the episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Steve and James of the Unashamed Unafraid Podcast for a deep dive into the complexities of relationships, particularly those in which there has been dishonesty or infidelity in the past. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: * Dishonesty in marriage * Rebuilding trust after betrayal * Understanding compulsive sexual behavior * Honesty and accountability in relationships * Male sexuality  * The problem with perfectionism

Transcribed - Published: 24 October 2024

**Join us for our 2024 Couples' Retreat! Save $200 with code JFF!** Dr. Finlayson-Fife was invited by Mormon Women for Ethical Government (MWEG) to speak on how we can maintain hope and foster healthy relationships during a time of deep political polarization. In the presentation, Dr. Finlayson-Fife discusses how we can bridge divides with those who think differently by showing genuine care, listening with humility, and seeking to understand others' experiences, using their perspectives to broaden our own. Dr. Finlayson-Fife emphasizes that, while we cannot make people think the way we think, we CAN care about each other despite our differences. This connection not only expands our own understanding, but strengthens our ability to work to solve our shared challenges, which is key to thriving in our families, communities, and society

Transcribed - Published: 17 October 2024

When we get married, most of us imagine a life full of connection and companionship. But when you feel overlooked, unchosen, or disappointed by how your spouse shows up emotionally or sexually, marriage can start to feel lonely and isolating. In this hour-long Q&A session, Dr. Finlayson-Fife answers questions from those feeling unchosen, isolated, and disconnected in their most important relationship.  Listen in as Dr. Finlayson-Fife answers the following: * Is loneliness a normal part of marriage? * What are reasonable expectations for emotional connection with a spouse? * How can I create more connection when my spouse doesn’t make any efforts? * Can an "okay" marriage ever become a passionate one? * What can I do if I feel unseen, unliked, unappreciated, and unchosen in my marriage? You can watch the recording of this Q&A session HERE. 

Transcribed - Published: 8 October 2024

**Save $100 on any of our upcoming 2024 events with code LIVE** When we get married, most of us imagine a life full of connection and companionship. But when you feel overlooked, unchosen, or disappointed by how your spouse shows up emotionally or sexually, marriage can start to feel lonely and isolating. In this hour-long Q&A session, Dr. Finlayson-Fife answers questions from those feeling unchosen, isolated, and disconnected in their most important relationship.  Listen in as Dr. Finlayson-Fife answers the following: * Is loneliness a normal part of marriage? * What are reasonable expectations for emotional connection with a spouse? * How can I create more connection when my spouse doesn’t make any efforts? * Can an "okay" marriage ever become a passionate one? * What can I do if I feel unseen, unliked, unappreciated, and unchosen in my marriage? You can watch the recording of this Q&A session HERE. 

Transcribed - Published: 8 October 2024

**JOIN US FOR OUR 2024 COUPLES' RETREAT!** Too often, we enter marriage with expectations of what it will provide for us, without fully understanding the promise we are actually making—to love someone who is dramatically different from us. When we first fall in love, this seems easy enough, but as we face the difficulties that come when two individuals start the real work of creating a life together, resentment, anger, and even hostility can creep in. In this NEW episode Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Dan Purcell of the Get Your Marriage On! podcast to answer the question of what it means to really cherish a spouse. Dr. Finlayson-Fife's answer leads to a beautiful discussion on the importance of gratitude, what love is and what it is not, and the impact that deliberate cherishing has in our lives and in our relationships. The episode offers practical advice on how to live in gratitude, be more present in relationships, and navigate conflicts with integrity and love.  Listen to the full episode to learn more about:  The difference between needing, wanting, and cherishing a spouse How marriage reveals our own immaturities  Why cherishing requires courage How to move beyond feelings of resentment and entitlement  What it means to actively choose your partner 

Transcribed - Published: 1 October 2024

In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Rachel Nielsen of the 3 in 30 podcast to discuss three actionable takeaways to help couples become better partners and strengthen their marriages. The discussion covers the important role of self-confrontation in happy relationships, the importance of staying kind and constructive when facing disappointments and differences, and the vital role that sexuality plays in a marital partnership. Whether you’re struggling in your relationship or simply looking to deepen your connection with your partner, this episode offers valuable perspectives that, when applied, will make a meaningful impact on the way you show up in your marriage. This powerful conversation just skims the surface on how couples can create a more honest and loving relationship, for a deeper dive, consider enrolling in Dr. Finlayson-Fife's Strengthening Your Relationship course. Or, better yet, join us for our upcoming couples' retreat! 

Transcribed - Published: 24 September 2024

**Straddling / Indecision is one of the new losing strategies introduced in the 2024 Strengthening Your Relationship course update! Learn more HERE!** When the path ahead is uncertain, taking a step forward can feel daunting. So much so that in the face of a difficult choice, many of us become paralyzed with indecision. We delude ourselves into thinking that with more time or with more information we will make the “right” decision. The one that won’t be painful. The one that won’t lead to regret. While gathering information is an important part of the decision making process, refusing to choose is, paradoxically a choice, and one that is driven by fear, not courage. In this powerful Q&A session, Dr. Finlayson-Fife took questions from her audience about indecision / straddling. The discussion that followed was a beautiful exploration of vulnerability, fear, finitude, and the importance of claiming our choices in life and in marriage.

Transcribed - Published: 10 September 2024

We've got a lot of incredible events on the calendar, click HERE to learn more (and SAVE $200 on the Art of Desire Retreat w/code DESIRE)! In this episode (originally published in 2022), Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Kattie Mount to discuss the different types of events she offers, and why these events can be so transformative, even for those who have already taken the online courses. If you've been curious about what it is like to attend one of Dr. Jennifer's in-person events, you don't want to miss this episode of Marriage on a Tightrope! Listen to learn more about:  * Why in-person events are such a powerful way to learn the principles taught by Dr. Finlayson-Fife * What you can expect if you attend an in-person retreat alone or with your spouse * If retreats are appropriate for post-Mormons and couples in mixed-faith marriages  * A breakdown of the material covered during each of Dr. Finlayson-Fife's upcoming retreats  * The stages of sexual development (and why sex gets better with age!)

Transcribed - Published: 3 September 2024

LABOR DAY SALE - ALL COURSES B1G150% OFF The all encompassing nature of motherhood makes it difficult for many women to stay connected to their identity outside of that role. But when we lose touch with ourselves and our individual desires, we disconnect from an important source of internal strength, one that can sustain us throughout even the most difficult periods of motherhood. In this NEW episode of Moving Thru Momlife, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins host Lindsey Taylor to discuss how women can stay connected to their bodies, desires, and sexuality throughout every age and stage of motherhood and how maintaining this important connection will provide them with a much-needed source of strength.  If you enjoyed this episode, you would LOVE Dr. Finlayson-Fife's Art of Desire Retreat -- we still have a few tickets left! Click HERE for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 28 August 2024

Despite their reactions to our attempts to discuss it, our children are looking to us to help them make sense of their sexuality.   And while the prospect of talking to kids about sex can feel daunting, these conversations—no matter how imperfect—make it clear to our children that we care about them, are invested in their wellbeing, and can handle discussing difficult topics with them. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Andee Martineau of the Connect Method Parenting Podcast to share valuable insights on how parents can foster an ongoing, healthy, and honest dialogue with their children about sex and how doing so will empower them to make informed, confident, and integrity-driven choices around sexuality. For a deeper exploration on these topics, enroll in Dr. Finlayson-Fife's recently updated How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex course!  Dr. Finlayson-Fife will also be discussing this topic at the upcoming Restore Conference-- CLICK HERE and use code RESTORE20 to save!

Transcribed - Published: 20 August 2024

**JOIN US for the 2024 Art of Desire Retreat!** You can’t change what you can’t see. And Dr. Finlayson-Fife’s Art of Desire course was created to help women SEE and understand the cultural messaging that has shaped their relationships to themselves, their sexuality, and to God in both positive and negative ways.  In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Kattie Mount of the Marriage on a Tightrope Podcast to discuss the upcoming Safely Gathered Retreat, where she will be addressing some of the limiting messages that many women have received and offering a new and expansive perspective, one that invites them to create a stronger, more sustaining relationship with themselves, their desires, and their sexuality. **Join us for a FULL DAY of learning from Dr. Finlayson-Fife on September 5th at the Safely Gathered Retreat -- Get your ticket HERE and save $10 with code JFF10!**

Transcribed - Published: 6 August 2024

**JOIN US for the 2024 Art of Desire Retreat!** You can’t change what you can’t see. And Dr. Finlayson-Fife’s Art of Desire course was created to help women SEE and understand the cultural messaging that has shaped their relationships to themselves, their sexuality, and to God in both positive and negative ways.  In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Kattie Mount of the Marriage on a Tightrope Podcast to discuss the upcoming Safely Gathered Retreat, where she will be addressing some of the limiting messages that many women have received and offering a new and expansive perspective, one that invites them to create a stronger, more sustaining relationship with themselves, their desires, and their sexuality. **Join us for a FULL DAY of learning from Dr. Finlayson-Fife on September 5th at the Safely Gathered Retreat -- Get your ticket HERE and save $10 with code JFF10!**

Transcribed - Published: 6 August 2024

Join us for Restore 2024! Get your Ticket HERE. [Save 20% with code: RESTORE20] _____________ Last year, Dr. Finlayson-Fife gave an unforgettable presentation on Eros and the Light of Christ. Today we are releasing that presentation in podcast form for all to enjoy! During the presentation, Dr. Finlayson-Fife explores the connection between spirituality and sexuality, and explains how eros energy (the root of romantic love) invites us to transcend ourselves and grow in our spiritual and relational capacity, even in the face of disappointment and uncertainty. Toward the end of the podcast episode, you will hear the audio of a short film about Geniel Fife (Jennifer's mother), you can watch the full film HERE. We hope to see you this year at Restore!

Transcribed - Published: 30 July 2024

Want to hear the FULL episode? Subscribe to Room for Two! _____ After twenty years in a difficult marriage, Jack asked Diane for a divorce. Diane felt conflicted in response. Part of her was devastated. She had committed to Jack and took that commitment seriously. Never a quitter, she had been determined to stay the course in their marriage, despite the difficulty. But part of her also felt relief at the idea. Their marriage had been an exhausting one, and the thought of stepping away from a decades-long struggle was liberating. After the initial disorganization of the request, Diane settled herself and realized that, even if the marriage ended, her life would go on. She would be okay. But, as empowering as this realization was, it was in facing the real possibility of losing the marriage that she recognized just how much she actually wanted to CHOOSE the marriage. To choose Jack. As difficult as their relationship had been, Diane was waking up to just how much she wanted to work out a life WITH Jack.  With renewed commitment, Jack and Diane have been making progress in recent months. Jack has been more open and honest, and Diane has been working to untangle her thoughts from Jack's and to clarify her own desires.  Both Jack and Diane want a better sexual relationship, but Diane worries that their differing definitions of "better" might be a dealbreaker for Jack. In this episode of Room for Two, Dr. Finlayson-Fife helps Jack and Diane explore and better understand their sexual dynamic. They discuss Diane’s initial excitement about sex, how their honeymoon’s brief difficulties fractured her perception of her sexual self, and how her initial self criticism has continued to impact their sexual dynamic. Dr. Finlayson-Fife helps Diane see that despite her recent growth, her continued focus on pleasing Jack is standing in the way of her actually loving him. Dr. Finlayson-Fife teaches that the key to moving forward is for Diane to decide who she wants to be in her life and marriage, independent of the expectations of others. 

Transcribed - Published: 27 July 2024

Learning that your spouse has been keeping important truths from you is extraordinarily disruptive. It can be difficult for couples to know how to navigate forward in the aftermath of a disclosure or discovery of this type of deception, but Dr. Finlayson-Fife has stabilizing resources available to help. During this Q&A session, Dr. Finlayson-Fife addressed questions from her audience on the topic of intimate deception (including emotional or physical infidelity, pornography use, financial deception, etc.).  If you are interested in learning more about this topic, consider purchasing Dr. Finlayson-Fife's newest mini-course Understanding Intimate Deception.

Transcribed - Published: 16 July 2024

**JOIN Dr. Finlayson-Fife at the 2024 Restore Conference -- Get Your Ticket HERE!** We are all pretty open books, whether or not we want to be. Those around us, including our children, have an incredible ability to map our minds. They “track” our actions, body language, facial expressions, and tone to understand our emotions, beliefs, and values, including our investment in them. In fact, the majority of our communication happens at this non-verbal level. What we say matters, of course, but the meaning of what we are saying comes from far more than just the words we speak.  In this new episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Heidi Benjaminson of the Confidence Coaching podcast to discuss mind mapping in parent-child relationships. They explore what our kids are mapping about us, how these mapped messages influence their perceptions and behaviors, and what we can do if course correction is needed.

Transcribed - Published: 25 June 2024

**FATHER'S DAY SALE! | Save 20% on The Art of Loving** In celebration of Father's Day, we are re-releasing this popular episode from the archive! During this Q&A discussion, Dr. Jennifer discusses the complexities of men's sexuality, particularly within the context of LDS cultural dynamics. The discussion, driven by questions submitted by our Facebook Group members, highlights the pressures and expectations men face, the importance of seeing men's sexuality as a positive force rather than a problematic one, and how couples can create real intimacy in their marriages. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: * Masculine and Feminine Energies * Sexuality and Morality * Intimacy in Marriage * Challenges in Emotional Connection * Navigating Sexual Desire Discrepancies * The Impact of Pornography on Relationships *Self-Respect and Intimacy If you found this podcast episode helpful, you would LOVE taking Dr. Finlayson-Fife's The Art of Loving course for men! In this course, Dr. Finlayson-Fife will be unpacking the damaging messages our culture has offered to men about masculinity and sexuality and then discussing how men can move forward and create a healthier relationship with themselves, a more balanced relationship with their sexuality, and a more fulfilling sexual connection with their spouse. You can learn more about this course HERE. To participate in future Q&A sessions, join our Facebook Group HERE. Want to come and learn The Art of Loving in person? Join us in St. George this fall! Click HERE for information.

Transcribed - Published: 14 June 2024

  In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife takes questions from her Facebook Group members on the nuanced and delicate topic of loss of attraction in marriage. In the discussion, Dr. Finlayson-Fife discusses how habituation, boredom, and resentment can undermine attraction, and how gratitude, appreciation, and novelty can foster it. She also expertly responds to questions like: * What can I do if I was never attracted to my spouse? * My spouse has developed self-destructive habits that are impacting my attraction, how can I address this? * I am disappointed by certain aspects of my spouse's appearance, what can I do? * I am physically attracted to my spouse, but their personality is unappealing, what can I do? * My spouse is apathetic about their health / hygeine, how can I address this? * Can I rekindle the attraction for my spouse that I once had? You can watch the recording of this conversation HERE!

Transcribed - Published: 11 June 2024

 In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife takes questions from her Facebook Group members on the nuanced and delicate topic of loss of attraction in marriage. In the discussion, Dr. Finlayson-Fife discusses how habituation, boredom, and resentment can undermine attraction, and how gratitude, appreciation, and novelty can foster it. She also expertly responds to questions like: * What can I do if I was never attracted to my spouse? * My spouse has developed self-destructive habits that are impacting my attraction, how can I address this? * I am disappointed by certain aspects of my spouse's appearance, what can I do? * I am physically attracted to my spouse, but their personality is unappealing, what can I do? * My spouse is apathetic about their health / hygeine, how can I address this? * Can I rekindle the attraction for my spouse that I once had? You can watch the recording of this conversation HERE!

Transcribed - Published: 11 June 2024

In this conversation, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Dr. Julie Hanks to discuss her dissertation research, the ways that church culture has shaped women's sexuality, and how women can create a healthier relationship with desire, embodiment, and sexuality (no matter what stage of life they are in). Listen to the full episode to learn more about: * The importance of agency and self-definition in sexual relationships * Characteristics of fulfilling sexual relationships * Balancing personal desires with cultural expectations *The relationship between agency and desire * Encouraging self-definition in our children * The effects of childhood sexual abuse on adult sexuality If you would like to learn more about these topics, consider enrolling in Dr. Finlayson-Fife's Art of Desire course for women! You can watch the video of this conversation HERE.

Transcribed - Published: 4 June 2024

It’s tempting for us to use our children’s successes or failures to measure OUR success as parents. But tangling ourselves up with our children this way is not only a recipe for disappointment and frustration (on both sides), it also stands in the way of REALLY loving and accepting our children for who they are. The sooner we recognize how little control we actually have over our children, the sooner we can let go of the fantasy that they prove or disprove our sufficiency (and the sooner we can get to work ACTUALLY loving them). To love our children is to see and value them for the unique individuals they are and offer our best to them. As humbling and refining of a practice parenting is, it is even more so for those who face the unique challenges and gifts of raising a child with special needs. In this NEW episode of Navigating the Spectrum, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Michelle Portlock to discuss her personal experience with parenting a neurodivergent child. The discussion covers the importance of compassion (for yourself, your spouse, your child, and your circumstances), and thoughts about how parents can work together to reduce anxiety / stress, improve communication, and foster a nurturing, supportive relationship with each other and their child(ren). **You can learn more about Dr. Finlayson-Fife's How to Talk To Your Kids About Sex Course HERE**

Transcribed - Published: 21 May 2024

In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Finlayson-Fife uses questions from her Facebook Group members to drive an important discussion about emotional infidelity. During the conversation, Dr. Finlayson-Fife explains why emotional affairs are so compelling, the impact they have on relationships, and how those who have experienced emotional infidelity can navigate forward wisely. Listen to the full episode to learn more about:  * Intimacy Avoidance * Self-Deception * Intimacy vs Closeness * Important considerations post-disclosure * Trust vs Trustworthiness If you are interested in learning more about this topic, consider enrolling in Dr. Finlayson-Fife's newest mini-course Understanding Intimate Deception.

Transcribed - Published: 14 May 2024