Hello, everyone, and welcome to the Bitch Bible podcast. It's me, your host, Jackie Schimmel, live from quarantine.

I have the worst news ever that I just got 30 seconds before I started hitting record.

I've gone my entire life thinking that I'm a triple Leo, which is just like the most Leo thing of all time to be like, I'm a triple Leo.

Roar, kill me.

But honestly, I haven't really done a lot of work into my chart, which I'm figuring out as we speak,

I have an appointment on Tuesday to really go over everything, a Zoom astrology kind of therapy

session, which is just so cringy and obnoxious. But anyways, I just found out 10 seconds ago,

and I'm trying to gather myself that I am a double Leo with a

Scorpio rising sign. Do you know what that means? That basically means that I am a living,

walking nightmare of a human.

Like the worst possible combination of all time.

And I'm actually mad at myself for even saying it on this platform because I would

like to lie and say that it's something else.

Something attractive, like an Aquarius or a cancer, something a little more empathetic.

A double Leo with the Scorpio.

It makes so much

fucking sense. This is why I'm inseparable. Osama bin Shimmel. Hi, welcome to my show. Anywho,

it's just me this week. Go fucking figure. I've reached out to so many guessing they don't want to come

on because they're scared of me. Anyways, you know, listen,

people are like, Jackie, get some new content. It's the same shit every week. Well, yeah. Yeah,

I'm drinking, Luanne. You know why? Because there's nothing going on. It's fucking groundhogs

day. Welcome to 2020. And how dare you? First of all,

...