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The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett

Child Attachment Expert: Hidden Dangers Of Daycare, It Might Be Causing Future Issues For Your Kid! Birth Rates Are Plummeting & Its Terrifying! Dr Erica Komisar

The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett

FlightStory

Society & Culture, Business, Education

4.613.2K Ratings

🗓️ 3 March 2025

⏱️ 158 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Erica Komisar is a clinical social worker, psychoanalyst, and parent guidance expert with over 30 years of private practice experience. She is the author of books such as, ‘Chicken Little the Sky Isn't Falling: Raising Resilient Adolescents in the New Age of Anxiety’.   In this conversation, Erica and Steven discuss topics such as, how the mental health crisis is impacting children, how attachment disorders are created in childhood, the dangers of the falling birth rate, and how daycare may cause future issues for your kid.  00:00 Intro 02:21 Erica's Mission 08:12 Who Are Erica's Patients? 09:35 How Have Social Changes Influenced Parenting? 13:00 Is the Role of a Mother More Important Than That of a Father? 16:30 Why Are Fathers Important From a Biological Level? 23:20 Erica's Unpopular Ideas About Parenting 25:17 Family Diaspora: Raising Children Without Extended Family 27:31 Can Raising Children Away From Extended Family Be Justified? 28:30 Voluntary Childlessness 29:25 Attachment Disorders 33:40 How Do Attachment Disorders Manifest in Adulthood? 34:54 Choosing a Partner Based on Attachment Styles 36:20 Predicting Relationship Success Based on Attachment Styles 37:53 Does Having More Children Correlate With Neglect? 39:19 Decline in Birth Rates 41:23 What Is Unique About Relationships With Your Own Children? 43:12 What Contributes to Growing Infertility Among People? 46:45 How Did Erica Manage to Balance Work and Motherhood? 48:48 Should Fathers Be the Stay-at-Home Parent? 51:18 Harlow's Study on Rhesus Monkeys 53:38 The Challenge of Motherhood in Poor Socioeconomic Conditions 57:36 Does More Paid Leave Equal Better Childcare? 59:10 Connection Between Upbringing and Success in Adult Life 01:01:40 ADHD: Why Has It Risen So Much in the Past Decade? 01:07:40 We're Medicating ADHD Wrong 01:09:26 The Top Stressors We're Exposing Our Children To 01:11:29 Is ADHD Hereditary? 01:16:50 What's Wrong With Medicating Children? 01:21:15 The Link Between Stress and ADHD 01:22:23 What to Do if a Kid Screams in a Supermarket 01:25:54 The Different Types of Trauma 01:32:43 Same-Sex Couples Taking Roles 01:38:50 What Should Career-Driven Mothers Do? 01:42:08 Not Everyone Can Do This Stuff 01:45:25 Children Don't Need Other Kids Until the Age of 3 01:47:00 Ads 01:48:59 What's So Important at 3 Years Old? 01:55:32 Can I Repair My Trauma and Brain Past My 30s? 01:58:44 Our Pain and Trauma Are Rooted in Childhood 02:02:33 Is "Daddy Issues" a Thing? 02:06:33 Are We Taking Men's Purpose Away? 02:10:42 Men's Testosterone Drops When They Become Fathers 02:13:03 What Happens When Men Become the Primary Caregiver? 02:16:22 Should We Split Schools Into Genders? 02:19:11 Testosterone Decrease 02:21:12 Raising Healthy Kids in a World of Technology 02:24:45 The Importance of Being Present With Your Child 02:25:48 What Should Employers Do? 02:27:22 Do You Realise How Controversial the Things You Say Are? 02:28:02 The Reason All of This Is So Personal to You 02:30:58 What Does Your Obituary Say? Follow Erica:  Instagram - https://g2ul0.app.link/pwv9PCz0lRb  Twitter - https://g2ul0.app.link/2EKsgfB0lRb  Website - https://g2ul0.app.link/OPtiA4a8lRb  Erica’s book - https://g2ul0.app.link/7rANACv0lRb The The Diary Of A CEO Conversation Cards here: https://g2ul0.app.link/f31dsUttKKb  Follow me: https://g2ul0.app.link/gnGqL4IsKKb Independent research: https://stevenbartlett.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/DOAC-Erica-Komisar-Independent-research-further-reading.pdf Sponsors: ZOE - http://joinzoe.com with code BARTLETT10 for 10% off WHOOP - https://JOIN.WHOOP.COM/CEO Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

One in five children will not leave childhood without developing a serious mental illness,

0:04.0

anxiety, depression, ADHD, behavioral problems.

0:08.0

And what pisses me off, it's that we're not really educating or telling parents the truth as to why.

0:14.0

Why is it that what you say is so troubling for some people?

0:17.0

Sometimes facts are an inconvenient truth, but everything I'm going to say

0:21.5

is supported by research. Erica Koumussar is a parenting expert and psychoanalyst.

0:26.4

Who uses over 30 years of research to challenge the societal norms on parenting and early child

0:31.5

development. There's some myths that really have to be debunked about how to raise a healthy child.

0:36.9

And the first is daycare is good

0:38.5

for children for socialization. No, it's so bad for their brain. And it's been known to increase

0:43.9

aggression, behavioral problems, attachment disorders because babies need their mothers in the first

0:49.0

three years for emotional security. Can a father do that? So fathers are important in a different

0:53.3

way. And I'll go through all of that.

0:54.9

But they're both critical, because if you're raised without one, you are missing a piece.

0:59.6

And then there's quality versus quantity of time.

1:01.8

NIF, you need to be there a quality of time as well as a quantity of time.

1:06.3

You can't have a fabulous career and then come home and be present for your child on your time. It needs to be

1:12.4

on their time and there's more. And we're going to go through all of them. But are there any

1:16.6

areas of privilege that you need to acknowledge? Maybe someone who doesn't have a partner there or

1:21.0

someone who is in an extremely difficult economic situation. I do, but there are ways to creatively

1:25.7

deal with it and I'll go through each of them.

1:28.2

So there's...

...

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