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10% Happier with Dan Harris

Conflict Is Normal. Here’s How To Keep It Healthy And Avoid Disaster. | Amanda Ripley

10% Happier with Dan Harris

10% Media, LLC

Dan Harris, Health & Fitness, Mindfulness, Dharma, Mental Health, Meditation

4.612.2K Ratings

🗓️ 14 October 2024

⏱️ 80 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Amanda Ripley is a New York Times bestselling author, a Washington Post contributing columnist, and the co-founder of Good Conflict, a media and training company that helps people reimagine conflict. She has written three award-winning, nonfiction books about three very different subjects: High Conflict, The Smartest Kids in the World, and The Unthinkable. 


In this episode we talk about:

  • The key differences between healthy conflict and high conflict
  • Five key steps for getting out of or avoiding high conflict
  • Why it's a golden age for so-called conflict entrepreneurs; and how to spot them in your orbit
  • ‘Looping’ – a key technique that changed Amanda’s life (and Dan’s)
  • How to set good boundaries while not giving up on people
  • One of the most reliable antidotes to all forms of bias, something called contact theory
  • Thoughts on how to interact with the news and social media during a presidential election
  • The very good reasons to avoid humiliating your opponent. She calls humiliation the nuclear bomb of emotions
  • And much more



Related Episodes:

Fight Right: The Science of Healthy Conflict | Drs. John and Julie Gottman

How to Repair the Damage After a Fight | Dr. Becky Kennedy


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Full Shownotes: https://happierapp.com/podcast/tph/amanda-ripley-843


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Transcript

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0:00.0

Wundry Plus subscribers can listen to 10% happier early and ad free right now.

0:05.0

Join Wundry Plus in the Wundry app or on Apple Podcasts.

0:10.0

This is the 10% happier podcast. I'm Dan Harris. Hey gang how we doing? I think many of us consider conflict to be a bad thing. We want to avoid it at all

0:36.3

costs for some of us. Today's guest really changed my mind about this. Her argument is

0:42.2

that conflict is both inevitable and

0:44.3

necessary and done well can even be healthy. Of course, as we all know, it's very

0:50.3

easy and very seductive to do conflict poorly, the term for that, according to today's

0:56.0

guest, is high conflict, and high conflict can lead to all sorts of intractable and devastating situations.

1:04.4

The good news is that healthy conflict is a skill.

1:08.1

So today we're going to talk about how to practice it and how to avoid the briar patch

1:12.3

of high conflict.

1:14.9

My guest is Amanda Ripley who has literally written the book on the subject.

1:19.2

Her book is called High Conflict and she has gone on to co-found a media and training company that

1:24.9

helps people reimagine conflict that organization is called good conflict.

1:29.2

Prior to her book on conflict she wrote two two other books, The Smartest Kids in the World,

1:34.6

and The Unthinkable.

1:36.9

In this conversation, we talk about the key differences between healthy conflict and high

1:40.6

conflict, five steps for getting out of or avoiding high conflict.

1:46.0

Why this is a golden age for so-called conflict entrepreneurs

1:50.0

and how to spot them in your orbit

1:52.0

and actually how to gauge whether you might be

1:54.8

one in certain circumstances. We talk about a concept called looping which is a

...

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