What To Do When When Someone’s Pissed At You | Matthew Brensilver, Vinny Ferraro, Kaira Jewel Lingo

10% Happier with Dan Harris

10% Media, LLC

Dan Harris, Health & Fitness, Mindfulness, Dharma, Mental Health, Meditation

4.6 • 12.2K Ratings

🗓️ 16 October 2024

⏱️ 76 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

How to handle other people's anger—and the anger that their anger might trigger in you.

For this episode, Executive Producer DJ Cashmere interviewed a trio of brilliant Dharma teachers to get their advice about how to handle anger. This is the second in a series of 'correspondent' episodes, in which DJ identifies a pain point in his life and meditation practice, then goes out into the world to report on the best ways to address it.

Kaira Jewel Lingo is a former nun in the Plum Village tradition started by Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh. Vinny Ferraro teaches at the Insight Meditation Society and Spirit Rock, and also in prisons. Matthew Brensilver teaches at many of the same retreat centers, and spent many years working in the field of addiction pharmacotherapy.

Related Episodes:

Also, the teachers’ sites:

https://vinnyferraro.org/

Vinny Ferraro's Course, A Year To Live

https://www.kairajewel.com/

https://www.matthewbrensilver.org/

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Wundry Plus subscribers can listen to 10% happier early and ad free right now.
0:05.0	Join Wundry Plus in the Wundry app or on Apple Podcasts.
0:08.0	This is the 10% happier podcast, I'm Dan Harris. Hello everybody how we doing I got a question for you how do you
0:27.0	how do you handle it when people get pissed to you?
0:32.8	Do you reflexively and profusely apologize,
0:35.0	even if you don't mean it?
0:36.3	Do you go into a defensive crouch?
0:38.1	That's usually my move.
0:39.8	One of the things I love about the Buddhists
0:41.8	is they've got smart sane advice for practically every situation including this one
0:47.5	I once heard Buddhism described as advanced common sense and that strikes me as spot on.
0:53.0	Today we've got a trio of Buddhist maestro on how to handle other people's anger and the anger that their anger might trigger in you.
1:01.0	We talk about how to communicate clearly when you're pissed
1:04.0	whether love and anger can coexist
1:06.0	the difference between humility and humiliation
1:09.0	the tricky job of accessing empathy in the heat of the moment
1:12.0	the issue of boundaries what to do when you met of including one insight that I find particularly helpful to remember which is that blissful
1:24.4	states in meditation may be overrated. This is the second in a two-part series we're doing on
1:31.2	anger just in time for the 2024 presidential
1:34.9	election just to be super clear about this you do not have to have heard the
1:38.9	first part in this series in order to listen to this episode but just so you are aware of it I will
1:44.1	put a link in the show notes. The structure of this episode is a little
	...

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