Conflict Resolution for Conflict Avoiders | Ep. 655

Awesome Marriage Podcast

Dr. Kim Kimberling

Marriage, Awesomemarriagepodcast, Marriagepodcast, Awesomemarriage, Marriageadvice, Society & Culture, Religion & Spirituality, Relationships, Christianmarriage, Christianity

4.9 • 802 Ratings

🗓️ 10 December 2024

⏱️ 36 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Conflict in marriage is inevitable: it’s how you handle it that matters most. But what about couples who really never fight? What happens to conflict that is never addressed and only stays under the surface? Does it ever really go away?

Listen today to learn better ways to handle the issues you don’t know how to deal with.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

Tips to initiate a hard conversation you’ve been avoiding
How to stay grounded when you want to shut down
How conflict can actually lead to better intimacy and connection
Helpful nonconfrontational ways to broach difficult topics

Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for quick weekly marriage tips!

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

Couples Conversation Guide:

Main takeaway: Dealing with the important issues together paves the way for true peace, and learning effective conflict solving skills is a win for your marriage.

Questions to Discuss:

Some skills mentioned are: Intentionality - set up a good time to talk, use “I” statements, do not blame your spouse, focus on what you would like to achieve together through the conversation. Pick the one that would help you the most.
What is one easy issue you can tackle together to practice better resolution skills? Focus on using your chosen skill.

QUOTES

If a couple said they never had conflict, I would think they’re not being completely honest with each other. - Dr. Kim Kimberling
I think the more you fear conflict, the less you’re able to resolve it. - Lindsay Few
We want to equip couples to handle it in a healthy way. - Lindsay Few
Conflict is not bad in itself. It’s how we handle conflict. - Dr. Kim Kimberling
Yes, we want peace in our homes. But you can’t have it if you ignore things that need to be dealt with. - Dr. Kim Kimberling
It’s ok if you get stuck, just don’t stay stuck. - Dr. Kim Kimberling

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Do you want a better friendship with your spouse? Build your friendship with the 5 Day Friendship Challenge.
Have you lost the connection you once had? Rebuild friendship with your spouse using the 5 Day Rebuilding Friendship Challenge.
Our ministry is made possibly ONLY through our generous donors. Plus, they get each month’s new marriage resource automatically, as well as some other exclusive perks! Learn more about Marriage Changers Membership here.
Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for quick weekly marriage tips!

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Welcome to the awesome marriage podcast, a place for honest conversations and practical advice on how to build an awesome marriage.
0:09.7	I am your podcast producer and co-host, Lindsay Few. On the show will be our host Dr. Kim Kimberly.
0:17.0	Dr. Kim is a marriage counselor and has been married for over 50 years.
0:21.8	His passion is to help you strengthen your most intimate relationship.
0:27.9	So welcome to the awesome marriage podcast.
0:29.9	We're so glad you're joining us here today.
0:31.9	I'm your co-host, Lindsay Few, and on the podcast with me is Dr. Kim Kim Kim, Kimberling.
0:36.6	We often say here at Also Marriage,
0:38.3	that conflict in marriage is inevitable, and it's how you handle it that matters most. But for
0:44.9	some couples, that's not the case because there are some couples who don't really fight.
0:49.7	So today we're going to talk about what happens when conflict is never addressed, and it just stays under the surface. And we're going to talk about what happens when conflict is never addressed and it just stays under the surface.
0:55.7	And we're going to talk about conflict resolution for conflict avoiders.
0:59.4	Make sure you stick around through the whole episode today because at the end we'll be talking about some great resources to help you build into your marriage wherever you're at with the issue of conflict today.
1:08.2	So Dr. Kim, what is going to happen in a marriage
1:12.6	where there is never any conflict? It's so hard to imagine that after 54 years of marriage
1:18.6	that they're not being conflict because we're different as husband and wife. We're different as
1:23.8	men and women. There's so many things that can cause conflict. So if a couple says we never fight,
1:29.3	I would say they're probably never dealing with anything at all. They're just letting everything go.
1:34.2	Or they're not really being honest with me. Because conflict is, you know, you look at Jesus life.
1:39.0	There's conflict all the way through Jesus life. And so many different times in ways, conflict is not bad in itself. It's how we
1:46.5	handle conflict. And I think so many people have such a negative view of conflict. You say the word
1:50.7	conflict and nobody gets warm, fuzzy thoughts. You know, it's just like, oh, no. And because that's, I
	...

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