Dan (and Marie) in Real Life: How Honesty Opens the Door to Intimacy [Room for Two Teaser!]

Conversations with Dr. Jennifer

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

Self-improvement, Education, Mental Health, Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.4 • 978 Ratings

🗓️ 18 March 2025

⏱️ 38 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Dan and Marie were happy enough in their marriage, until they started listening to Room for Two. Listening to the Dave and Carly series woke them up to the fact that even though their marriage was peaceful and good, it wasn’t as honest as they had believed it to be, and they wanted to create something better. So they got to work – listened to podcasts, worked through courses, and even attended a couples’ workshop. Their efforts to bring more honesty and authenticity to the marriage paid off and they caught occasional glimpses of what their relationship was really capable of, but... old habits die hard, and despite the progress, they often find themselves slipping into their familiar pattern of trying to manage how they are seen and experienced, which leaves their sexual engagement feeling lackluster and “vanilla.” In this episode of Room for Two, Dr. Jennifer works with Dan and Marie to help them better understand what their intimate relationship is exposing about their relational dynamic, and how honesty and authenticity will open the door for them to create the spark and passion that they long for. Want to hear the FULL episode? Subscribe to Room for Two and gain immediate access to this and over 100 other full-length Room for Two episodes!

Transcript

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0:00.0	I probably wanted to tell myself a nice story about the type of man and husband that I was.
0:07.5	I think I remember getting little bits of advice at the wedding and people wrote it down on slips of paper and someone had, you know, happy wife equals happy life.
0:16.8	And it's just like this.
0:18.6	You know, that was what I felt like was my job.
0:21.0	And as a hard worker, I was going to get in there and do the things that would make her happy.
0:25.6	I think I lied to myself a lot, too.
0:27.5	I didn't realize that I was doing that, but I would feel some sort of annoyance.
0:32.3	Like, I'm doing all this stuff.
0:33.6	I don't feel like you're carrying weight, but I would never even allow that thought to materialize in my brain.
0:40.5	So it was confusing for me to try to detangle some of this.
0:44.2	She would even bring it up.
0:45.2	Like, are you like annoyed or what's going on?
0:47.1	And I was always like, no, no, no, everything's fine, you know?
0:50.4	Yeah.
0:52.0	I wasn't deliberately deceiving her. I think I was deceiving myself.
1:01.5	Hey, everyone. Room for Two is my couples coaching podcast where you can listen in as I work with
1:07.7	real couples on creating more intimacy and connection in their marriage.
1:13.2	Seeing how the principles I teach in my online courses and podcasts can be applied to real
1:18.8	and relatable marital issues like desire differences, infidelity, communication challenges,
1:24.7	and mixed faith marriages, to name a few, it's really a powerful way to learn.
1:29.7	It's one thing to take in the theory of what I teach, and it's quite another to see how it
1:34.2	plays out in real life and to be able to witness couples truly shifting in the quality
	...

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