Welcome to Conversations with Dr. Jennifer, a collection of interviews on the topics of relationships, sexuality, and more, all featuring Dr Finlason Fife.

Okay, can you talk a little bit about your approach with therapy? I think it's, it's a little

bit unique and different, and I've heard you kind of explain it before in podcast before,

like what you see your role is but we

articulated a little bit like what's your role when you're helping a couple or an individual

person like what is it that you're doing so that you can be a most help for them?

Yeah.

Well, it's kind of funny because I've done what I have intuitively felt was right, which isn't particularly conventional and I have found a theory

that explains what I was doing. Like you started doing it before you were

yeah well that's not entirely fair because I was listening to people

whose approach really resonated with me.

Dr. Schnarish is one of them.

Terry Reel's approach is more differentiation-based, but I but it's not like, it's, how to say it, it's not that I was looking

for someone who teaches differentiation, it was I was looking for an approach that felt like it fit my experience of change.

And I have since come across a theorist of adult development that also explains what I have observed myself and so it's kind

of cool to see that come together. But what I think, I think a lot of approaches around therapy and change are about

sympathy empathy compassion letting sympathy, empathy, empathy, compassion, letting people feel their feelings, giving people a sounding

board, and understanding why people do the things they do, I mean that's a lot of

psychodynamic Freudian-based theory is that if people kind of understand their

defenses and why they are doing things, you know, it can explain

adult behavior, all of which is true. I mean you can say, yeah, I do this because this

happened and that makes sense why I do it. But it doesn't necessarily lead to change.

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