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Dr. James Hollis: How to Find Your True Purpose & Create Your Best Life

Huberman Lab

Scicomm Media

Science, Life Sciences, Health & Fitness

4.923.3K Ratings

🗓️ 13 May 2024

⏱️ 160 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript


In this episode, my guest is Dr. James Hollis, Ph.D., a Jungian psychoanalyst, renowned educator and author on finding and pursuing one’s unique purpose. Dr. Hollis is also an expert in the psychology of relationships and healing from trauma. We discuss how early family dynamics and social context create patterns of both adaptive and maladaptive behavior and internal narratives that, when examined, lead to better choices and a deeply fulfilling existence. We discuss discovering your unique self-identity and purpose through specific practices of reflection, meditation and conversations with others. We also discuss self-perception and the evolution of roles within marriages, parent-child relationships, and work. Throughout the episode, Dr. Hollis provides both basic knowledge and practical tools to help us assess ourselves and better understand who we are and what we really want in careers, relationships of all kinds, and society. For show notes, including referenced articles and additional resources, please visit hubermanlab.com. Thank you to our sponsors AG1: https://drinkag1.com/huberman Mateína: https://drinkmateina.com/huberman Joovv: https://joovv.com/huberman BetterHelp: https://betterhelp.com/huberman Waking Up: https://wakingup.com/huberman Momentous: https://livemomentous.com/huberman Timestamps 00:00:00 Dr. James Hollis 00:02:14 Sponsors: Mateina, Joovv & BetterHelp 00:05:57 Self, Ego, Sense of Self 00:13:59 Unconscious Patterns, Blind Spots, Dreams; Psyche & Meaning 00:21:56 Second Half of Life, Purpose, Depression 00:25:37 Sponsor: AG1 00:27:08 Tool: Daily Reflection; Crisis 00:31:47 Families & Children, Permission & Burdens 00:37:27 Complex Identification, Self-Perception; Social Media & Borderline 00:41:55 Daily Stimulus Response, Listening to the Soul 00:45:40 Exiting Stimulus-Response, Loneliness, Burnout 00:51:19 Meditation & Perception, Reflection 00:54:58 Sponsor: Waking Up 00:56:15 Recognizing the “Shadow” & Adulthood 01:02:48 Socialization; Family & Life Journey 01:09:04 Relationships & “Otherness”, Standing Your Ground 01:15:51 Marriage, “Starter Marriages” & Evolution; Parenting 01:19:37 Shadow Issues, Success & External Reward, Personal Growth 01:27:59 Men, Alcohol, “Stoic Man”, Loneliness, Fear & Longing 01:37:33 Women & Men, Focused vs. Diffuse Awareness; Male Rite of Passage 01:44:31 Sacrifice, Relationships; Facing Fears 01:48:20 Therapy, “Abyss of the Self”, Repeating Patterns & Stories 01:55:17 Women, Career & Family, Partner Support; Redefining Roles 02:01:40 Pathology & Diagnosis, Internet 02:07:05 Life, Suffering & Accountability, “Swamplands” & Task 02:11:32 Abuse & Recovery of Self, Patience, Powerlessness 02:14:11 Living a Larger Life; “Shut Up, Suit Up, Show Up” 02:17:49 Life Stages; Despair & Integrity Conflict 02:25:00 Death, Ego, Mortality & Meaning 02:38:07 Zero-Cost Support, Spotify & Apple Reviews, Sponsors, YouTube Feedback, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter Disclaimer

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Welcome to the Huberman Lab Podcast, where we discuss science and science-based tools for everyday life.


I'm Andrew Huberman and I'm a professor of neurobiology and ophthalmology at Stanford School of Medicine.


My guest today is Dr. James Hollis.


Dr. James Hollis is a youngian psycho analyst and author of more than 17 books about the self, relationships, and how to create the best possible life.


Some of the notable titles and topics of those books include creating a life, finding your individual path, as well as the Eden Project in


search of the magical other, which as the name suggests is about relationships.


He has also written about how to access our most resilient self in the book entitled


Living Between Worlds, Finding Personal Resilience in Changing Times. During today's discussion,


Dr Hollis teaches us what questions we need to ask of ourselves on a regular basis in order to best understand who we really are and what we most desire at the level of vocation, romantic relationships, friendship and family, and indeed in relationship to life's journey.


What you'll quickly realize during today's discussion with Dr Hollis is that while yes, he is trained as a youngie and psycho analyst he is also very


firmly grounded in practical tools that is he teaches us the simple and yet practical


tools that we can each and all apply on a daily basis in order to make sure


that we are staying on our best path. We discuss how family dynamics that we grew up


in as well as trauma and attachment styles combined with our unique gifts and indeed our


shadow side as well in order to drive us down particular trajectories in life that sometimes


lead us where we want to go but but other times lead us astray.


And when they do, how to get back on track.


Today's conversation with Dr. Hollis is truly a special one


in that he rarely does podcast appearances.


In fact, we travel to him to record this podcast.


That's how motivated I was to be able to sit down with him


because I'm familiar with his many books and his incredible teachings.


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