This is I'm your host Ryan Nidell and today's episode is I forgive myself. Do you?

So it's brought to my attention by one of you that I've shared an immense amount of stories on the things I've done

wrong and how hard I've been on myself but I've never shared with you how I view the

world today. That's what this episode ultimately is.

So through this process of having 15 minutes to freedom,

this podcast that allows me to share this message of all the things I've done

wrong in my life and the way that I view those situations and how I've gotten through them,

I've never really expressed how I feel today.

Certainly I feel better than I used to,

but how does it really look?

How does it really feel?

You know, when I look back at my life, we'll take the thing that's most... really

at my life will take the thing that's most impactful for me

in a negative way and that's the cheating

you know my entire 20s

really from 19 or 20 until I probably 21 until 30 31. I don't remember more than a handful of months of time where I was truly faithful to a woman I was

dating. At some points I was dating three, four women literally at the same time. And all of them thought they were my one

and only. They thought that they were in a committed relationship with me. I was a liar. I was a cheater I was doing all these things consistently without

full understanding of why I was doing it.

Sure, I was looking for external validation. I wasn't putting a lot of value and benefit into the relationships I was having.

I was weak in the fact I could never sit down with my partner and share with them

that I knew our relationship wasn't going any further. I would literally take this

...