Elis and John's Christmas Cracker

Elis James and John Robins

BBC

Comedy

4.8 • 6K Ratings

🗓️ 13 December 2024

⏱️ 65 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

“Mmmh yeah Christmastime.” In a linear sense it’s Christmas Day. In a circular sense it’s some time between 13th and 25th December. Ho! Ho! Ho!

What better way to celebrate the birth of Jesus than Elis and John’s Christmas Cracker? Oh and we have festive fun. Elis and John write a Christmas song which is equal parts downbeat and administration heavy, whilst it’s the most madderful time of the year for fathers.

We’ve also got a very secret guest that Producer Dave reveals within the first 15 minutes and there’s a festive advert to rival Jean Louis that becomes far more affecting than the initially comedic idea. Whether your listening in a linear (25/12), circular (13/12 to 13/12) or any point afterwards, Merry Christmas!

If you’ve got anything to send to the Elis and John North Pole then send it to [email protected], or 07974 293 022 via Christmastime’s preferred method of modern communication (WhatsApp).

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Hello, I'm Andrew Hunter Murray, host of The Naked Week, a brand new comedy where you'll
0:06.5	probably find this kind of thing.
0:08.2	Nigel Farage, got into a punch-up with a wumble.
0:10.1	On the moon.
0:10.8	Don't be ridiculous, Duncan, there are no wumbles on the moon.
0:13.4	And this sort of thing.
0:14.6	You, Les, it's made Sadiq Khan, London's most unpopular mayor since Dick Whittington
0:18.7	charged his cat 12 quid to enter its own litter tray.
0:22.7	So join me as we go behind the headlines with unexpected guests and much satirical silliness.
0:27.9	The Naked Week. Listen on BBC Sounds. Music, radio podcasts.
0:35.6	Ellis and John's Christmas Cracker. Hello there, welcome to the Ellis James and John Robin's show.
1:02.0	And what's that I can hear in the background?
1:04.5	Why is the gentle hum of endeavour, the quiet diligence associated with bringing joy to millions.
1:11.6	Is it producer Dave working hard on this show?
1:14.6	No, because this episode is a Christmas special that's being recorded bizarrely early,
1:19.6	I'm actually talking about elves.
1:21.6	That's right.
1:23.6	Because of the quiet diligence, Dave has shown all year Santa's decided that Dave has been a good boy.
1:28.7	So Santa's elves are hard at it, working on his Garmin 4 and a 265 smart watch to measure his cadence, vertical oscillation and stride length.
1:37.0	That was the watch I wanted you to get me.
1:39.1	Was it?
1:39.8	Yeah, you said you'd get me a present for being your best man.
	...

Transcript will be available on the free plan in -103 days. Upgrade to see the full transcript now.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from BBC, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of BBC and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.