Emily Nagoski, PhD: Pleasure Is the Measure: How to Have Sex You Enjoy

Sounds True: Insights at the Edge

Tami Simon

Religion, Religion & Spirituality

4.6 • 1.8K Ratings

🗓️ 8 October 2024

⏱️ 71 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Why is it so hard to talk about sex? How can we be a better friend and lover for our partner? What's the secret to maintaining "the magic" that first brought us together? Acclaimed sex educator and New York Times bestselling author Emily Nagoski views these questions through a unique lens that centers pleasure—not desire—in her counseling work with struggling couples.

In this podcast, Tami Simon speaks with Emily about the empowering insights in her newest book, Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections. Listen now to their conversation on: breaking free from the desire imperative; the groundbreaking work of Helen Singer Kaplan; the dual control model of sexual response and the analogy of brakes and accelerators; "turning on the ons and turning off the offs"; reducing your stressors as a key aspect of centering pleasure in your life; friendship and admiration: two essentials for long-term relationships; trust, vulnerability, and emotional accessibility; creativity, play, and freedom; following your own rules; talking about sex; the fear of rejection; how "good communication gets you good sex; great communication gets you great sex"; incompatibility; the interplay of attraction and self-worth; body acceptance; and more.

Note: This episode originally aired on Sounds True One, where these special episodes of Insights at the Edge are available to watch live on video and with exclusive access to Q&As with our guests. Learn more at join.soundstrue.com.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello friends. My name is Tammy Simon and I'm the founder of Sounds True and I want to welcome you to the Sounds True podcast, Insights at the Edge. I also want to take a moment to introduce you to Sounds True's new membership
0:16.1	community and digital platform. It's called Sounds True One. Sounds True One features original premium transformational docu series, community events, classes to start your day and relax in the evening. Special weekly live shows including a
0:36.8	video version of Insights at the Edge with an after-show community question and answer session with featured guests.
0:45.0	I hope you'll come join us.
0:47.0	Explore, come have fun with us and connect with others.
0:51.0	You can learn more at join.
0:54.3	Sounds True.com. I also want to take a moment and introduce you to the
0:59.0	sounds true foundation, our nonprofit that creates equitable access to transformational tools and
1:07.3	teachings. You can learn more at sounds true foundation.org and advance, thank you for your support.
1:18.4	In this episode of Insights at the Edge,
1:21.1	my guest is Emily Nagowski. Let me tell you a little bit about Emily. She is a sex
1:28.4	educator and in my words someone who stands for, speaks for, and writes about our erotic well-being.
1:40.0	She has an MS in counseling and a PhD in health behavior, both from Indiana University,
1:48.0	with clinical and research training at the Kinsey Institute.
1:52.0	For eight years, she was the Director of Wellness Education
1:56.0	at Smith College, and in 2016,
2:00.0	after the huge success of her first book, Come As You Are, which became a New York Times bestseller,
2:09.6	Emily became a full-time writer and public speaker.
2:14.0	She's the co-author with her sister Amelia of the book Burnout,
2:19.6	and a new book, which is what we'll be focusing our conversation on it's called
2:24.9	come together the science and art of creating lasting sexual connections.
2:32.0	Emily welcome.
	...

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