Encore: S02 Ep. 11 - Lauren’s Sexual Shame

Dear Therapists with Lori Gottlieb and Guy Winch

iHeartPodcasts

Education, Society & Culture, Self-improvement

4.8 • 2.4K Ratings

🗓️ 31 December 2024

⏱️ 53 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Hey, Fellow Travelers. This week we’re in session with Lauren, a woman in her 50s who feels shame and embarrassment about her limited sexual and romantic experience. We help her recognize the real reasons she felt unable to have sex for so many years and how those same dynamics are still holding her back.

If you have a dilemma you’d like to discuss with us—big or small—email us at [email protected].

LoriGottlieb.com and on Twitter @LoriGottlieb1 and Instagram @lorigottlieb_author

GuyWinch.com and on Twitter @GuyWinch and Instagram @Guy Winch

Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey fellow travelers. I'm Lori Gottlieb. I'm the author of maybe you should talk to someone,
0:08.8	and I write the Dear Therapist Advice column for the Atlantic. And I'm Guy Wynch. I'm the author of
0:14.0	Emotional First Aid, and I write the Dear Guy Advice column for TED. And this is Dear Therapists.
0:23.4	Each week, we invite you into a session,
0:27.9	so you can learn more about yourself by hearing how we help other people come to understand themselves better and make changes in their lives. So sit back and welcome to today's session.
0:33.7	This week, a single woman deals with shame about getting a late start in dating and sex.
0:38.3	I guess I'm afraid to get into a relationship in a sense, because then people ask you, like, about your history and...
0:46.3	It's embarrassing one to be 53 and single. You know, when you mention that to people, they're always, like, shocked, and I've had people say, oh, gosh, what's wrong with you?
0:57.7	First, a quick note.
0:58.9	Dear Therapist is for informational purposes only.
1:01.4	Does not constitute medical or psychological advice and is not a substitute for professional health care advice, diagnosis or treatment.
1:08.5	Always seek the advice of your physician, mental health professional,
1:11.6	or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical or psychological
1:16.6	condition. By submitting a letter, you are agreeing to let IHeartMedia use it in part or in full,
1:21.6	and we may edit it for length and clarity. In the sessions you'll hear, all names have been
1:25.6	changed for the privacy of our fellow travelers.
1:30.3	Hey, Guy. Hi, Lori.
1:31.3	So I think we have a really interesting letter today. It goes like this.
1:35.3	Dear therapists, I'm 53 years old, and I have never been married and have no children.
1:42.3	I didn't have a boyfriend until I was 32 and lost my virginity with him when I was 32. We dated for four years. It was not a good relationship. Since then, I've had a few relationships but nothing lasting. I feel a lot of shame and embarrassment over this, so much so that I think I avoid dating so I don't have to share this with anyone.
2:01.9	I even feel embarrassed putting it in writing to you. It actually makes me wince. And I feel like
2:06.6	such a loser admitting that I didn't have a boyfriend until I was 32 and was a virgin until then too.
	...

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