I don't blame us for wanting Disneyland.

I don't blame us for wanting a world free of suffering and limitation.

I mean, it's certainly natural to want it and to imagine, you know, we can have it.

And I can't, I'm not here to say that you can't have a life that has a lot of joy in it,

and a lot of strength in it,

and a lot of rich meaning.

But the path is not perfection of the Mets a denial of what on the topics of relationships, sexuality, and more, all featuring Dr. Finlayson Fife.

So for this episode we have on none other than Jennifer Finlison Fife. So amazing.

JFF as they say in the streets. Yes it is. And I'm a big fan of hers. I've listened to so much of her content and just love her perspective on so many aspects of sexuality, of choice, accountability, ownership.

Well, and I think she kind of has embodied for you, which I totally have learned from you is like,

we have to und-deemonize this like you

cannot approach recovery and sexuality with like there is bad and good. Now I'm not saying like hey let's endorse porn or cheating on your spouse but

when we have this idea of there's don't do it and you're a good person but if you do do it then you are a good person. But if you do do it, then you are a bad person.

Right.

And so listening to her stuff, really, to your point,

help me de-demenize it, but it kind of helped me kind of unplug that shame IV that just got was stuck in my arm when it came to pornography like it was just

this intravenous thing of shame all the time around porn she helped me kind of unplug that a little bit and was like,

nope, you don't need to make this monster bigger than it really is.

Well, and that's a struggle, which I'm going to tell you kind of how we came into this episode was that's a struggle of because so often you hear guys say you know there's a good guy and a bad guy in our marriage

and I the addict right right, male or female, right? I the addict am the bad person.

I'm the one down. I've done the bad things. And so the best I can do is stop doing it and then spend the rest of my life paying my

penance in my prison sentence as the one down in this marriage. Right. And that's just a paradigm that doesn't work. Right. And she addresses that so beautifully in the episode here. So,. Yeah, some major truth bombs get dropped along the way.

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