Economist Paul Krugman has retired as a columnist for the New York Times, a former newspaper.

Krugman published his final column Monday and headlined it,

I will not be retiring from the New York Times, in order to continue his unbroken record of being wrong about every single thing.

Krugman began his column in January 2000 and won the 2008 Nobel Prize in Economics

for his discovery that money doesn't really talk. That's just a metaphor. He says he's now going to

cash in his investments in Kodak and Pets.com so he can afford to devote all his time to his tinfoil farm

where he grows the hats that help him communicate with the

invisible spirits who see the economic future before it happens.

In his final offering, Krugman reminisced about his most important columns, including his

famous 2008 masterpiece, Why the Good Times Will Never End, along with some older columns like

the government can borrow as much as it wants

as long as the moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter aligns with Mars, and some recent ones

like don't blink or you'll miss the transitory inflation, and what's everyone complaining about?

My intel stock is poised to go through the roof.

After Krugman announced his retirement from the opinion page, which is sometimes fondly called

by nicknames like Knucklehead Row or Fat Head City or what a bunch of stupid a-hole's,

the big brains of the page honored Krugman with a retirement party.

A wild time was had by all, as Charles Blow showed off his intellectual prowess by buttoning his shirt correctly,

while David Brooks and Thomas Friedman competed to see which of them would be first to figure out how to turn his Super Mario hat so that the brim faced forward.

As the bubbly flowed and the antidepressants were passed around, the gang grew nostalgic, talking about their own

famous columns, like that insightful Charles Blow favorite white people are meanies, and David

Brooks's book on the importance of character called How to Dump Your Wife or a Younger Woman,

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