Hey guys, happy Tuesday. So just FYI, I am pre-recording these episodes this week because I'm going to be in North Carolina next week, A.K. this week for you guys, you're listening to it.

So we are going to cover kind of an evergreen topic and that is the topic of the paradox of likability, which I am going to explain in a second.

Today we're going to talk about it as it pertains to politics and in particular to the Republican Party. And on Thursday we're going to talk about it as it pertains to Christianity.

And today and Thursday I am going to answer many of the wonderful questions that you guys have sent me in the last few days.

So what is this paradox of likability or why is likability a paradox? And the reason it's a paradox is because on the one hand being likable draws people to you, to your cause and to your message.

Making it easier for you to accomplish whatever goal it is that you want to accomplish, whether that is just becoming someone's friend, gaming affirmation, convincing someone of your plan, persuading them with an idea.

Whatever it is, likability typically helps you and likability comes in many forms in my opinion.

Someone doesn't even have to be friendly to be likable. They don't have to be articulate necessarily to be likable. They don't always have to be funny or attractive, though I think all of these things can help.

But people who are likable are sometimes dry, serious, reserves. And likewise, there are people who are very gregarious and funny who are not likable at all.

There's just kind of this intangible quality at many times in likability. There are a lot of things that people can do to improve their level of likability. But some people are just kind of born with this aura of likability that draws people to them that compels other people to listen to them.

And the truly impactful people are the ones who are not only naturally likable, but they're also smooth. They leverage their natural likability into charm, a charm that persuades people.

Likeability not only draws people to you, it also makes them trust you. Most people I know, maybe not everyone, but most people I know want to be likable.

I mean, that's the reason why most of us are on social media. We want likes. We want affirmation that people like us. We present ourselves as attractive as fun, it's funny, as the kind of people other people would want to hang out with.

Most people want to be likable. Now, yes, some people would rather just command respect people in the military, for example, they may not care about being liked. They just want to be respected. They would rather be feared.

But I think in the words of Michael Scott, if we had to choose between being feared or loved, we would probably say both that we want people to fear how much they love us.

And even though I would say that the likes we see on social media are kind of they're unhealthy and they're fleeting forms of affirmation, the desire to be liked and to be likable is natural.

That's because likability is a good quality to have. Everyone wants to be charming. Everyone wants to be the kind of person people listen to and want to hang out with.

Likeability in general is a good quality to which people aspire. At first or at my first job, we called it as something called woo, which stands for winning others over.

It's an incredibly valuable characteristic that for the most part, I think is God given. But on the other hand, there is a downside to likability. It is a double edged sword.

Likeability can also be used as a tool of manipulation. The same characteristic that draws people in can also convince people of lies. It also has been used as a facade at some points.

People are often so captured by the likability of someone that they're unable to see what's behind the curtain. They're unable to examine the message that this likable person is conveying in an objective way.

The first person that comes to mind for me is Bill Clinton. By every account that I've ever read, he is charming. There's just something about him that people really love. I think he has a personality trait that he was really just bored with.

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