Episode 207: When Parents Have Different Limits, They're Both Ineffective

Feeding The Mouth That Bites You: Parenting Teens Into Adulthood

Kenneth Wilgus, PhD, P.C.

Christian Parenting, Christianity, Teens, Education, Teenagers, Kids, Kids & Family, Parenting, Religion & Spirituality, Adolescents, How To, Parenting Teens, Parents

4.9 • 714 Ratings

🗓️ 25 March 2025

⏱️ 18 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

It's not uncommon for parents to have differences in what they prioritize and the ways they implement limits with their teenagers. It is essential however, that parents do all they can to overcome these differences and present a unified message to their teens. This is important not just for your marriage but for your effectiveness with your adolescents. When you as a parent have different limits from their other parent, teenagers don't "secretly realize" that you're the right parent, they just think both parents are nuts. Jessica and Dr. Ken discuss ways to overcome these differences and how to talk about them effectively with your spouse. We also cover the difficult task of dealing with an ex-spouse who has greatly different expectations as well. You can order Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here: https://a.co/d/hBnlbzI Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! [email protected] Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome back to Feeding the Mouth That Bites You, a weekly podcast guide on parenting teens and launching them into the world.
0:15.0	I'm Jessica Pfeiffer, and as always, I'm joined by psychologist and author, Dr. Ken Wilgus.
0:21.6	Hey, Dr. Ken.
0:22.4	Hey.
0:26.0	Are you reading these reviews that we're getting online?
0:30.0	You know, I worry that I, I mean, yeah, I do. I don't obsess over them, but yeah, I do.
0:35.0	I do.
0:35.3	I love them.
0:36.8	It's incredible.
0:54.6	It's incredible. It's incredible. It's not listening to what people are saying about how this podcast is affecting their families. There's one I want to read to you. It says, I am so grateful to have discovered Feeding the Mouth podcast and book before it was too late for me and my daughter. We're still working, but even beginning to implement some of these tactics has had a dramatic effect on our family environment. This is kind of funny, but my
0:59.5	favorite thing is how you coined the term nurturing to describe controlling moms. I know this is true
1:05.0	because I would have never used the word nurturing to describe myself, nor would anyone else. But every time
1:09.5	you describe it or define it on here,
1:11.4	it's me to a T. And I thought that was really funny, because I can relate to that too as well.
1:16.8	I'm a quote, nurturing mom. Yeah. And I never even thought about it like that because it really is. The desire is to just be
1:23.7	nurturing. But I think that's so, yeah, I'm amazed by the feedback we get. It's so
1:28.8	encouraging to hear the impact it has. I love that stuff. I love it too. So thank you.
1:35.0	Whoever is leaving reviews and we appreciate it and we love reading them. It means a lot to us
1:40.8	to know that our work is purposeful and it means something to someone.
1:45.1	So we have been talking about the four laws of disciplining adolescents.
1:48.8	We've been talking about limit setting with adolescence.
1:50.9	And we have discussed over the last few podcasts that you are a judge, not a police officer.
	...

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