Episode 53: Self-esteem and teenagers

Feeding The Mouth That Bites You: Parenting Teens Into Adulthood

Kenneth Wilgus, PhD, P.C.

Christian Parenting, Christianity, Teens, Education, Teenagers, Kids, Kids & Family, Parenting, Religion & Spirituality, Adolescents, How To, Parenting Teens, Parents

4.9 • 714 Ratings

🗓️ 5 January 2021

⏱️ 18 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

We're back!.. and starting off a new season with the nagging issue of teenagers' self-esteem. Why do teenagers so often feel down about themselves? What can parents do to help boost an adolescent's flagging self-esteem? Why do parental efforts to help often end up making things worse? We also discuss "just how important is self-esteem anyway?" and "should Christian parents approach this differently from other parents?" Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! [email protected] Join us on Patreon for bonus content and more: https://www.patreon.com/FeedingTheMouthThatBitesYou

Transcript

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0:00.0	You are listening to Feeding the Mouth That Bites You with Ashley Parrish and Jessica Pfeiffer.
0:05.6	A weekly podcast guide on parenting teens and launching them into the world. As always, we are joined by
0:11.5	psychologist and author, Dr. Ken Wilgus. Hey, everyone, and welcome back on today's episode. We will be
0:17.7	discussing self-esteem and teenagers. So recently I was at a sporting event
0:23.1	watching a bunch of teenagers gathering around, chit-chatting, living it up like teenagers do.
0:29.5	And there was a really significant difference between some personalities. They were the gregarious,
0:35.3	outspoken, loud, tension-getting teenagers that want
0:41.1	everyone in the whole crowd to be staring at them. And then there were the kids that
0:44.4	looked like they could just hide in their hoodie sweatshirt, you know, covered up. They wanted to be
0:50.1	invisible. You know, and I began to think, isn't it interesting? What is it that goes on in the
0:55.3	teen years that makes these kids have differences in self-esteem? So Dr. Ken, is it more obvious,
1:03.9	it seems to be more obvious in teen years. What causes this? Well, it's a common question when
1:09.7	parents bring their kids to me is, is Dr. Wellgus, we think that he also
1:14.6	has low self-esteem. And that can come up in both in childhood, but also in teenagers. I think one of
1:24.4	the things that changes is in adolescence, you kind of develop cognitively enough that you have a lot more of a sense of self.
1:31.3	So a kid that can be kind of blithely unpopular or whatever, they kind of don't care as much at eight or nine years old.
1:40.0	But somewhere just before teenage years and certainly by adolescence, certainly like middle school,
1:45.3	there's this kind of click of how do I come across? How do people seem to see me? And kids can get
1:51.2	very teenagers can get morbidly self-focused on that. So I think that's one of the big reasons that
1:56.2	it comes up rather a lot. And parents are often, like I said, pretty concerned about it. It's often
2:00.6	one of the big things that they bring to therapy is that what do we do about
2:05.9	what seems to be our teenager's low self-esteem.
	...

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