Episode 6: Lawyer Brain, Pt. 2 - The Sandpit of the Soul

ALAB Series

All Lawyers Are Bad

Business

4.8 • 869 Ratings

🗓️ 23 November 2019

⏱️ 91 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Andy, Michael, and Tarik look at the Office of Legal Counsel, the elite unit within the US Department of Justice where the most elite legal minds in the country go to exchange their very souls for the promise of a life of ease and riches.

Transcript

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0:00.0	It will be good to get back to our sort of mission statement that the elite freaks that run this profession
0:09.7	are all huge disasters. But we've been relying on some funny cases and I don't think
0:16.6	we have those this time. No now we're going to be talking about the goofy
0:19.5	antics of detonating teenagers while they're barbecuing with hellfire missiles.
0:24.0	Exactly. Just some wacky shit like that.
0:27.0	L-O-L-L. Oh, Hi, welcome to A-Lab series episode 6 I'm Andy and in this episode Tark Michael and I
0:57.2	Take you through some of the opinions and arguments authored by the Office of Legal Council to the executive. These opinions are offered to justify acts like
1:05.9	launching tomahawk missiles into Libya or droning an American citizen in the sun. We try to show
1:12.0	you what happens when the smartest people in
1:13.6	a legal profession think no one is looking and then no one's going to come
1:17.2	check their math. It gets pretty ugly but we hope it's important. So tonight we're talking about the office of legal counsel and if you are a loyal A-Lab listener you know that in
1:35.8	episode two we talked about lawyer brain and in talking about that we touched on
1:40.6	the LLC and we talked we talked about their Libya opinion and we talked about the lawyers that work there
1:46.5	just a little bit.
1:48.6	This episode is kind of like a lawyer brain part two and we're going to dive more deeply into the Office of Legal
1:56.5	Council and we're going to look at a couple of their opinions.
1:58.6	Yeah and this is we're talking lawyer brain here but this is really about like lawyer soul like this is where you go to to sell your soul
2:08.5	One of the many places and so you, this is really where guys, you know, cut their teeth basically justifying for the executive the most awful heinous shit you can imagine and on the thinnest and most absurd
2:28.0	grounds you can imagine and and so it'll be a fun little tour of some of the worst things lawyers do.
2:36.0	Yeah, we're going to show you some of the smartest best people in the profession just completely
2:41.4	wiping their ass with arguments and then stuffing them into a drawer
2:45.6	assuming nobody's gonna look at it and and the things that they're justifying are just
	...

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