Healing and Wholeness | Sexuality After Trauma Q&A

Conversations with Dr. Jennifer

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

Self-improvement, Education, Mental Health, Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.4 • 978 Ratings

🗓️ 20 November 2024

⏱️ 58 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Our bodies are incredibly wise. Our limbic system in particular is very effective at keeping us safe from immediate danger. But while this protective mechanism serves an important purpose, it can also create lasting challenges when it remains vigilant and intrusive long after the real danger has passed. For those who have experienced sexual trauma, a common and intuitive response is to distance ourselves from sexuality or even shut it down entirely to protect against further harm. While this reaction is understandable, it can create a deep disconnection from a core part of who we are. This disconnection not only disrupts our sense of peace and ease in our own bodies, it can also impact our capacity for intimacy–both emotional and sexual. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife answers audience questions about the impact of sexual trauma on relationships and well-being. She explores the body’s self-protective response, the impact on our sense of self, and how those who have experienced trauma can move toward healing. Resources mentioned in the episode: "Living at the Bottom of the Ocean" [Dr. Schnarch's final manuscript] * The Body Keeps the Score * Brain Talk * Subscribe to Room for Two! *Dr. Finlayson-Fife earns a small commission when products are purchased through these links

Transcript

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0:00.0	The most important thing and a very important way of belonging to ourselves is to be true to
0:06.2	our own desires, right? To be true to who we want to be and to not let our fears or the need
0:14.6	to please other people or the idea that we have to earn our value, be the determinant. Those are all versions of self-betrayal.
0:24.6	The goal is how do I be true to the best in me? How do I be true to my desires? How do I heal my
0:33.4	relationship to my own body? That's the goal. Whether or not you're ever sexual with another
0:39.0	person, whether or not you are ever sexual at all, right? That's on you to decide. But I think
0:47.4	you being true to the best in you is the most important thing.
1:02.4	Welcome to conversations with Dr. Jennifer,
1:08.6	a collection of interviews on the topics of relationships, sexuality, spirituality, and more.
1:11.3	All featuring Dr. Finlayson Fife.
1:20.1	So we're going to talk today a little bit about trauma. Let me just say a couple things before I jump into some of the questions. One is that some of you are joining for the first time to this
1:25.9	educational session, and you may not know that these educational
1:29.0	sessions, these free resources that I do once a month, are connected to the Facebook group
1:34.0	Ask an LDS Marriage and Sexuality Therapist. So that is a group online where people can come,
1:39.8	ask questions of one another. And then we every month will collect questions around a theme.
1:46.5	Christy collects them. And then we, you know, my, my participation in a group is largely
1:53.1	through teaching ideas that people are grappling with trying to make sense of. And so
1:58.4	we've had a lot of questions come in around trauma, and I just
2:02.7	thought, you know, it's not an easy topic, but maybe it's time for me to teach about it. So the
2:08.5	second thing I just want to say as a reminder to everybody, and you all do pretty well around this,
2:14.5	but one of the things that I value very much is the ability for people to deal with
2:22.9	differences in a civil, decent way. We are in a society right now where people have a deeper freedom
	...

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