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1 big thing

Helen Fisher: How we choose who we love

1 big thing

Axios

News

42K Ratings

🗓️ 15 February 2024

⏱️ 20 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Anthropologist Helen Fisher has long been trying to answer the question: why do you fall in love with one person rather than another? Her research says we've evolved four basic styles of thinking and behaving linked with the dopamine, serotonin, testosterone, and estrogen systems. Fisher used that research to create a questionnaire that's been taken by 15 million people in 40 countries, shedding light on how we choose our mates. She's also one of the experts behind the Singles in America survey from Match.com, the most recent of which shows that people are using AI in online dating, and are increasingly trying alternatives to monogamy. Plus, Axios' Carly Mallenbaum on legal protections for polyamorous relationships. Guests: Helen Fisher, anthropologist and chief science advisor to Match.com; Axios lifestyle reporter Carly Mallenbaum. Credits: 1 big thing is produced by Niala Boodhoo, Alexandra Botti, and Jay Cowit. Music is composed by Alex Sugiura and Jay Cowit. You can reach us at [email protected]. You can send questions, comments and story ideas as a text or voice memo to Niala at 202-918-4893. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

He turned around to me at a corner and he said,

0:06.5

Helen Fisher, I'm going to marry you and this time I'm not drunk.

0:10.9

Even as dating technology advances.

0:16.8

They want AI to help them sort through matches, create a profile.

0:24.6

One anthropologist who studied love for decades says science still shows us the basics of what we look

0:30.7

for in a mate.

0:31.7

I've been able to watch who's naturally chemically drawn to whom.

0:36.4

I'm Nailaboodoo and from Axios, this is one big thing. One December night in 2005, Dr. Helen Fisher got a call in her New York City apartment

0:55.6

with a question from the people at match.com.

0:58.6

Why do you fall in love with one person rather than another.

1:02.8

So I began to look into the brain and in fact I was able to establish

1:10.0

that we've evolved four basic styles of thinking and behaving link with the

1:14.7

dopamine serotonin testosterone estrogen system.

1:19.1

Fisher who studied human behavior specifically love and attraction for her entire career.

1:25.0

Use that research to create a questionnaire that's been taken by 15 million people in 40 countries.

1:31.0

And I've been able to watch, who's naturally,

1:34.3

chemically drawn to whom.

1:36.5

And as it turns out, if you're very high

1:38.5

on the dopamine scale, you go for people like yourselves,

1:41.7

risk-taking, novelty now seeking curious creative people are

1:44.4

drawn to people like themselves same thing with high serotonin people who are very

1:48.8

traditional conventional follow rules also want somebody like themselves.

...

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