Help!!! I'm Addicted to a Narcissist!
Trauma & Narcissism Redefined
Caroline Strawson
4.8 • 701 Ratings
🗓️ 17 November 2020
⏱️ 25 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this episode I’m talking about the addiction to the narcissist in your life, how to deal with it, and the first steps to overcome it. Remember that every addiction serves to stop us from feeling the pain of our wounded younger part, and today we are going to unpack that mechanism.
What You Will Learn In This Episode:
- Recognizing the difference between knowing you are good enough and feeling like you are not
- How our body gets addicted to not feeling good enough
- How our brain reacts to our biggest perceived pain
- The importance of no contact or extremely modified contact with the narcissist in your life
- Why our brain always reverts to what is familiar even when it’s painful
In a relationship with a narcissistic person, we are continually trying to prove that we are good enough, and our body gets used to that sensation. Not feeling good enough then becomes familiar, and our brain perceives what's familiar as what's safe, thus ignores the pain we are feeling and perpetuates that cycle.
Resources:
- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the narcissistic abuse recovery podcast. I'm Caroline Stawson and I'll be sharing with you |
| 0:09.2 | awareness, understanding and education about the devastating effects of narcissistic abuse to help you thrive. |
| 0:16.8 | I want you to know that I've been exactly where you are now and I believe you. |
| 0:21.4 | And this show is all about taking you from trauma to transformation. |
| 0:30.5 | So in today's episode, I want to talk to you about the addiction to the narcissist. |
| 0:36.9 | Now that almost makes it sound really, really serious. |
| 0:41.3 | Because it is. It is really serious. Because I know many of you will be listening right now, |
| 0:48.1 | knowing that you should ignore the narcissist in your life, that you shouldn't reply to those texts that you get, |
| 0:56.9 | yet in your body, every single cell can't help yourself. |
| 1:04.1 | And boy, boy, can I relate to this. |
| 1:06.4 | I remember when I spit up from my ex-husband and I'd get a text message. |
| 1:11.8 | And the cognitive part of my brain was saying, Caroline, do not reply. |
| 1:18.2 | Yet I had to reply. |
| 1:20.8 | And that started a whole evening of ping pong back and forth. |
| 1:24.9 | And you can just visualize me now as I was getting those messages, and I'd |
| 1:29.8 | initially reply. And then as the evening went on, my typing on my phone would get faster and |
| 1:36.3 | harder because I was so angry and activated. And I know many of you will be able to relate to that. |
| 1:43.8 | Addiction in its simplest format is actually a protector part of us. |
| 1:51.2 | So any form of addiction, and when I say any form, I'm not just talking about the addiction to the narcissist now. |
| 1:57.5 | I mean addiction to drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, porn, shopping, food. Whatever that |
| 2:06.4 | addiction is, is actually a protector part. So in the therapy and coaching that I do with my |
| 2:13.5 | one-to-one clients and group work, I use part therapy and I use internal family systems. |
... |
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