The Narcissist's True Intention

Trauma & Narcissism Redefined

Caroline Strawson

Narcissisticabuse, Health & Fitness, Narcissist, Self-improvement, Education, Recovery, Mental Health, Trauma

4.8 • 701 Ratings

🗓️ 10 November 2020

⏱️ 19 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Do narcissists deliberately try to hurt you? What is their driving force?

Even when they say or do horrible things to us, the narcissist’s intention is purely about themselves. What they pursue is the narcissistic drug of choice, what we call the narcissistic supply. That is the only thing they are after.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

- Narcissistic abuse happens TO you. It doesn’t happen BECAUSE of you.

- Why your pain is just the byproduct of the narcissist’s behavior

- Where the narcissist’s need for mistreating you really comes from

- Narcissistic aggression and manipulation as the expression of their younger, wounded part

- How to recognise when the narcissist is pretending to behave in a certain way to achieve what they want

When narcissists hurt us, they want to heal their wounds at our expense. It has nothing to do with our integrity or our values. So remember that it is YOU who is holding the power to heal, and change the perception of your own childhood experiences.

Resources:

- Join my Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse

- Connect with me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Welcome to the narcissistic abuse recovery podcast. I'm Caroline Stawson and I'll be sharing with you
0:09.2	awareness, understanding and education about the devastating effects of narcissistic abuse to help you thrive.
0:16.8	I want you to know that I've been exactly where you are now and I believe you.
0:21.4	And this show is all about taking you from trauma to transformation.
0:30.8	So in today's episode, I want to talk to you about something that I had a discussion with somebody about on Facebook actually the other day.
0:39.6	And it's something I get asked a lot about do narcissists deliberately try and hurt you?
0:46.8	Is this their driving force? And it's a really interesting conversation to have.
0:52.7	And some of you may or may not agree with me with what I'm
0:56.3	about to say. But it's something that from when we really start to understand trauma from our
1:02.5	childhood and beyond, we can really start to understand people's behavior. That doesn't mean
1:08.8	it is for us to approve of their behaviour, but it allows us then to
1:14.6	have an understanding and an acceptance of that, that we start to see that other people's behaviour
1:20.4	is never a reflection of you. And let me be really clear about this. The narcissist that you have in
1:27.2	your life, it is absolutely no
1:29.8	reflection of you whilst they are behaving like that towards you. This is happening to you,
1:38.1	not because of you. And they are two key sentences that I really, really want you to take on board today.
1:46.3	Narcissistic abuse happens to you. Narcic abuse doesn't happen because of you. Because many of
1:55.6	us receive narcissistic abuse in a way that it's happening because we're not good enough, not worthy,
2:04.0	not lovable enough. We're stupid, helpless, powerless. But actually, the driving force of a
2:11.3	narcissist isn't actually to do with you. Yes, you are a magnet to a narcissist when we have those beliefs about
2:19.7	ourselves, but actually they're not waking up each morning and thinking, hmm, Caroline is only a
2:27.3	two out of ten of worthiness. So I am going to treat her like that. If she was a 10 out of 10, I wouldn't treat her like that.
	...

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