Hi, my name is John Kim and I'm a therapist who went through his own

rebirth. I share my feelings and revelations. I believe in casual or clinical and

with you instead of at you. I come unrehearsed on purpose because self-help

doesn't have to be so complicated.

I used to think that love was a light switch.

Something flicks on, we get an overwhelming sensation, right? We hear

angels, feel the lightning bolt, it hits us like a bag of bricks, or maybe a strong arrow,

and we know, and when we know we know right

not so much after 44 years in an expired marriage. I don't see love that way anymore

I've placed Cupid right next to Santa Claus on the Easter Bunny. Let me have a sip of coffee before I continue.

Love, guys, is a series of choices, daily choices.

The first choice is based on many factors, including chemistry,

and principle, logic, humor, banter, intelligence, body type, you know, whatever it is that is important to you that

will make you gravitate towards someone else.

Also including where we're at in our lives, what we want, what we feel we

deserve, what we need, and the list goes on and on and the weight of each factor varies

depending on individual. Now based on these factors we either choose to begin the process

to love or we don't and if we decide to enter this process the action of loving can

bring quote-unquote light switch moments.

The way that he looks at us, how hard she makes us laugh,

the notes he hides in our purse, the way she makes us feel when we don't feel anything.

But like an airplane flight there is turbulence

...