How to ask for more — and get it | Alex Carter
TED Talks Daily
TED
4.1 • 11.9K Ratings
🗓️ 3 September 2024
⏱️ 15 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
How do you get what you want out of a negotiation? United Nations negotiation trainer Alex Carter says the best methods center on recruitment, not rivalry. Whether you're asking for a raise or resolving a family dispute, she offers five simple tips for a successful discussion — starting with one powerful question.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Ted Audio Collective. |
| 0:02.0 | Audio Collective. |
| 0:04.0 | You're listening to Ted Talks Daily, |
| 0:10.0 | where we bring you new ideas to spark your curiosity every day. |
| 0:14.8 | I'm your host, Elise Hugh. |
| 0:16.7 | I'm one of those people who avoids negotiations because talking about money can make me |
| 0:22.3 | uncomfortable. |
| 0:23.5 | But law professor Alex Carter has a totally different and helpful way of thinking about negotiation. |
| 0:29.8 | In her 2024 talk, how negotiations don't have to be awkward and how to do it to achieve optimal outcomes after the break. |
| 0:40.0 | And now our TED Talk of the day. |
| 0:48.0 | The most important things I know about negotiation, |
| 0:53.2 | I learned in a kayak on my honeymoon. Picture this. |
| 0:57.9 | I arrive in Hawaii and I look adoringly at my brand new husband as we get in a two-person kayak together for a river tour. |
| 1:08.0 | Then things go wrong fast. You see in a two-person kayak the passenger in the back |
| 1:19.6 | usually the larger passenger is supposed to drive using their paddles. |
| 1:27.0 | Well, I didn't like how he was driving. |
| 1:32.8 | So I decided to drive my own way. |
| 1:36.8 | And exactly at the moment I thought I had taken over, we flipped over three separate times. |
| 1:50.0 | Apparently, we set a record. |
| 1:53.0 | So I get back in the kayak now dripping wet |
| 1:58.0 | when our guide up ahead turns back and says, okay, folks, let's negotiate these things to the left |
| 2:07.4 | because you're going to hit that beach up ahead. |
... |
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