How to Build a Securely Attached Relationship with Julie Menanno

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Being Well

Health & Fitness, Education, Self-improvement, Mental Health

4.8 • 2.4K Ratings

🗓️ 23 September 2024

⏱️ 68 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Forrest sits down with marriage and family therapist Julie Menanno to explore one of the most crucial aspects of healthy relationships: secure attachment. They discuss the impact of anxious, avoidant, and secure attachment patterns, and provide practical advice on identifying and communicating attachment needs, fostering emotional safety, and addressing the common anxious-avoidant partner dynamic. Julie highlights the importance of emotional validation and recommends strategies for communicating from the heart. Forrest and Julie then talk about what we can learn from how securely attached couples navigate conflict and repair. This episode is perfect for anyone looking to strengthen their relationships! You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:20: Attachment styles and emotional safety 4:30: Identifying and meeting attachment needs 12:45: How attachment styles shape our relationships 19:30: The “anxious-avoidant” partner dynamic 26:55: Communicating from the heart 32:40: Emotional validation 35:55: Conflict and repair in a securely attached relationship 44:55: How a therapist manages escalation and overwhelm 50:35: The power of choice in relationships 56:35: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey everyone. Welcome to being well. I'm Forrest Hansen. If you're new to the show, thanks for listening today, and if you've listened before, welcome back.
0:14.0	I've been really looking forward to today's episode, which is going to focus on one of the most important aspects of most people's lives,
0:21.0	creating a fulfilling fulfilling secure relationship.
0:24.0	We'll explore some of the most common mistakes couples make, how our individual attachment
0:29.0	style can shape our relationships, and the importance of key ideas like emotional
0:33.4	validation. We'll also be talking about some of the common problematic cycles that
0:37.4	can emerge in our relationships and what we can do to move toward more secure
0:41.6	ways of relating to each other. And to help me do that, I'm joined by a very special guest, a marriage and family therapist and author of the new book, Secure Love, Julie Monado. So Julie, how are you doing today?
0:53.2	I'm good.
0:54.0	Thanks for having me.
0:55.6	Yeah, really happy to be doing this with you.
0:57.7	To tell you a little bit more about Julie,
0:59.5	she has a clinical therapy practice working with couples and many listening probably
1:04.4	already know her through Instagram where she offers relationship insights and
1:07.8	advice to over 1.3 million followers which is an absolutely crazy number of people, Julie.
1:14.1	You're like radically successful over there, which is great.
1:17.3	It feels good.
1:18.3	It feels good to be a lot of that kind of reach.
1:21.4	You've worked with so many different couples through your private practice and you've also just talked to a lot of people I would imagine through places like Instagram. Is there a particular mistake or issue that couples make that really stands out to you, something that
1:35.4	typically brings them into your office? You know, all couples are struggling with
1:40.5	different, you know, kind of content details in their lives.
1:44.0	All couples have their different kind of things that they fight over, right?
	...

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