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Relationship Advice

How To Handle Different Paces In Emotional Growth

Relationship Advice

Colter Bloxom

Society & Culture, Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Relationships, Sexuality

4.21.7K Ratings

🗓️ 23 April 2025

⏱️ 45 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

When emotional growth happens at different paces in a relationship, it can create disconnection and frustration. This episode explores how partners can navigate this dynamic by cultivating curiosity, avoiding shame-based interpretations, and validating the complexity of individual growth paths. Rather than rushing to conclusions or trying to control the other, the hosts encourage compassion, open dialogue, and creative ways to reconnect. In this episode, we cover topics such as:  Avoiding Righteousness Pause the Binary Thinking Asking Open-Ended Questions Exploring Other Support Systems Discernment and Clarity  Give Me Discounts! Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

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0:29.6

Have you ever tried to read a book with somebody else?

0:32.7

I'm talking like the actual same physical copy of the book.

0:36.7

And at the same time, like you're sitting side

0:39.1

by side with each other and both reading to yourselves. My wife and I have done this before because we

0:44.2

like to party. And we've got similar taste in reading, especially when it comes to the self-help

0:49.5

and growth genres of the world. But one thing we've learned is that she's a faster reader than I am. It's

0:55.7

usually not a big deal for a page or two until she's ready to turn the page. Usually at that point

1:00.5

is when I have to ask her to wait until I finish the paragraph or two that I still have left.

1:05.0

She's left to sit in her thoughts and twiddle her thumbs for about 20 to 30 seconds while my

1:09.2

slow poke reading catches up.

1:13.5

But after a while, she gets a little bit tired of waiting for me.

1:16.5

She suggests that perhaps she turned the page perpendicular to the book so she can read one side of the page

1:19.0

while I read the other side of it.

1:21.0

We try and it's a bit uncomfortable,

1:22.7

so I tell her I'm just going to read a bit faster.

1:25.4

So I start trying to go at her pace. But this somehow seems to be slower than my previous pace.

...

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