Is It Time To Start Panic Buy Dildos?

Distorted View Daily

Tim Henson

Comedy Fiction, Improv, Fiction, Comedy

4.8 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 25 April 2025

⏱️ 55 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

On Today’s Show: It’s a jam-packed Friday freakout featuring haunted abortions, ghost grandkids, pervy American men in Ukraine, and the eternal struggle of pre-ordering a Nintendo Switch 2 without losing your mind—or your place in the checkout queue. Listener Voicemails: Join the Freak Army! Get Sideshow exclusive episodes, bonus segments, and other weird goodies.📲 Sign […]

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Freaks, it's Friday, April 25th, 2025.
0:03.5	Coming up on the program today,
0:04.8	Alexis K. Tyler's aborted grandchild appeared in her home to dance for her.
0:09.7	Plus, a creepy pervert looking for a child bride in Ukraine,
0:13.5	the toddler who ate his grandfather's cremated remains,
0:16.4	and Dildo Panic Buying.
0:18.4	All this coming up today.
0:21.6	This is a moment of truth.
0:28.8	How you feel?
0:29.9	Okay.
0:30.8	Do you think you're going to be able to tell the truth in front of all of America tonight?
0:33.9	By now, you know, everything that comes out of my mouth is either a lie or a half-truth.
0:39.4	Question one. Have you ever made a wax replica of your private part? Yes. I'm going to level with you.
0:48.3	It's five inches, and it's not very thick, but it's vainy, which gives the illusion of girth.
0:54.2	Okay, let's find out if that's the truth.
0:57.1	That answer is true.
1:04.2	What do you like to do for fun?
1:06.0	I've been playing with my asshole since I was very young,
1:10.0	before I can really remember.
1:12.1	Question two.
1:14.7	Have you ever been sexually attracted to your friend Joe?
1:20.9	Uh, yes. I'm a big queer.
	...

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