Welcome to Betrayal Trauma Recovery, BTR.org. I'm Anne. I'm sure you remember what it was like when you were searching for help, maybe for your husband, hoping to find the right program or therapist. That's why I started podcasting. I supported my husband through seven years of pornography addiction recovery and not one therapist during that time told me I was experiencing emotional

and psychological abuse and sexual coercion. I didn't want any other woman on the planet to be in

the dark. If you're like the majority of my listeners, you're experiencing the type of abuse that's

invisible and difficult to wrap your head around. Your husband is using porn or having

affairs or lying to you, and you're getting the same bad advice about how to improve communication

or your relationship. If you need support from women who totally understand, check out our daily

group session schedule at BTR.org slash group. We'd love to see you in a session today. One simple, anonymous way to help spread the word

is to click, follow, or subscribe to the Betrayal Trauma Recovery podcast on your favorite

podcasting app. While you're there, every five-star rating helps make this podcast more visible

and will help save other women from getting the wrong kind of help, like a couple

program that will make this type of abuse worse. For those of you who follow or subscribe to this

podcast, thank you so much. Your support means so much to me. So there's another word for toxic.

It's abusive. And I don't know why people don't use that word.

If you're asking, is my husband toxic?

You're really asking, is he emotionally or psychologically abusive?

And here's three things you need to know.

Number one, does he use manipulation to hide things like his pornography use or anything else?

Number two, does he lie to control your perception of him rather than just meet you on equal grounds by telling you the truth?

Number three, does he objectify other people? That's really important to think about.

So here are some questions to determine if he's toxic. Does he belittle your emotions making you feel like you're too sensitive or that you're

imagining things? Does he undermine you by saying that people don't know what they're talking about

when they're giving you information that empowers you.

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