Is your partner "the one?" Wrong question | George Blair-West

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4.1 • 11.9K Ratings

🗓️ 3 May 2024

⏱️ 17 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Marrying for love is a relatively recent phenomenon for humanity, and we still don't fully understand what it means for building successful relationships, says author and psychiatrist George Blair-West. Drawing from his extensive experience working with couples, he shares four questions every couple should ask themselves before tying the knot — and highlights surprising findings on how the way marriage starts impacts if it ends.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Ted Audio Collective.
0:02.0	Audio Collective.
0:04.0	You're listening to TED Talks Daily,
0:10.0	where we bring you new ideas to spark your curiosity every day.
0:16.0	I'm your host, Elise Hugh.
0:18.0	Today we're going to talk about love and specifically romantic love.
0:22.3	psychiatrist George Blair West looked at the data on legal marriages and their breakups and found that romantic love doesn't underpin most marriages in the world.
0:32.0	In his 2022 talk from TEDx Brisbane, he shares the surprising
0:36.2	findings from modern arranged marriages, that is trusting other people to make matches for us.
0:42.0	His talk after the break. other people to make matches for us.
0:42.8	His talk after the break.
0:47.2	Like TED Talks, you should check out the TED Radio Hour with NPR.
0:51.7	Stay tuned after this talk to hear a sneak peek of this week's episode.
0:56.0	And now our TED Talk of the Day.
0:59.0	Around 500 years ago, Erasmus told us that prevention was better than cure.
1:05.0	Now that might seem forward thinking, but when blood-sucking leeches are the best cure you've got at your disposal,
1:12.0	while you're hanging around waiting
1:13.7	from the work you've got to start to wonder why this clearly bizarre treatment
1:18.0	was needed in the first place and I'm going to propose that preventing long-term relationship breakdown is as
1:27.3	important as preventing serious illness. I'm going to suggest that the way we see romantic love and in particular finding the one
1:37.7	is a big part of that problem. So in my 20 years of working with couples I've come to see a
1:46.7	relationship breakdown as being the result of an inability to overcome an emerging
	...

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