Learning to Trust Yourself: How to Stop Self-Abandonment

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Being Well

Health & Fitness, Education, Self-improvement, Mental Health

4.8 • 2.4K Ratings

🗓️ 10 February 2025

⏱️ 68 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this special episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how we can become more self-reliant, and learn to trust ourselves. This helps us be resilient in the face of life’s challenges, and it’s a key resource for people who tend to abandon their wants and needs. They start by discussing why some people struggle with self-trust, the difference between inside-out and outside-in safety, and changing the model we have of ourselves. Forrest introduces a framework for developing self-trust based on self-efficacy, flexibility, self-advocacy, and accurate appraisal, and Rick applies this to how we can build self-worth and feel strong and capable. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:10: Why some people have an easier time trusting themselves than others 4:30: An outside-in vs, inside-out sense of safety, and feeling reliable 9:50: Welcoming positive feedback, and psychological flexibility 14:10: Sticking up for yourself 19:55: Stabilizing yourself when feeling helpless 25:00: Evaluating internal stories, and living moment to moment 30:15: Feeling like someone who matters, and feeling seen by others 35:00: Three aspects of self-regulation, and self-appraisal 41:35: Object relations, and focusing attention on your inner world 48:55: Seeing yourself as the creator of your world, and authenticity 55:15: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Head to acorns.com/beingwell or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello and welcome to being well. I'm Forrest Hansen.
0:10.0	If you're new to the podcast, thanks for joining us today. And if you've listened before,
0:14.0	welcome back. I'm here as usual with clinical psychologist Dr. Rick Hansen. Rick is also my dad,
0:20.0	if you're a new listener. So,
0:20.8	Dad, how are you doing today? I'm really good. And it's always truly, I'm just basking in what a cool
0:26.8	person you are. Oh my God. He's flattering me because I've set up such a cool in-person recording
0:33.0	session for us today. I really feel like I finally dialed it in this time. Is it okay to kind of name the fact for us that you're barefoot right now?
0:41.8	This is, I'm not against it. People are going to start. I'm not against it.
0:45.8	All right, no feet picks. I'm trying to keep the feet out of frame, so nobody knows.
0:49.3	So today we're going to be talking about learning how to trust ourselves.
0:52.3	By being natural. By being natural.
0:54.7	Without shoes.
0:55.4	And liberated without shoes, right?
0:57.3	Grounding down or whatever it is that some people are into.
1:00.0	So this is about developing self-reliance.
1:02.3	It's about seeing ourselves as somebody who can support ourselves through life,
1:05.9	manage difficulty, be resilient in a world.
1:08.7	We all want to feel like we can believe in ourselves and believe in our
1:14.3	own ability to overcome different kinds of challenges. And I wanted to start by kind of going back
1:19.0	to the beginning here, Dad, and asking you, where does that feeling come from? Why do some people
1:23.4	sort of trust themselves and other people tend not to. I've reflected a lot on this question.
1:30.0	And I think the practical answer has to do with increasing what lifts us up in terms of
	...

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