Loneliness in Marriage [Q&A Discussion]

Conversations with Dr. Jennifer

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

Self-improvement, Education, Mental Health, Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.4 • 978 Ratings

🗓️ 8 October 2024

⏱️ 68 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

When we get married, most of us imagine a life full of connection and companionship. But when you feel overlooked, unchosen, or disappointed by how your spouse shows up emotionally or sexually, marriage can start to feel lonely and isolating. In this hour-long Q&A session, Dr. Finlayson-Fife answers questions from those feeling unchosen, isolated, and disconnected in their most important relationship. Listen in as Dr. Finlayson-Fife answers the following: * Is loneliness a normal part of marriage? * What are reasonable expectations for emotional connection with a spouse? * How can I create more connection when my spouse doesn’t make any efforts? * Can an "okay" marriage ever become a passionate one? * What can I do if I feel unseen, unliked, unappreciated, and unchosen in my marriage? You can watch the recording of this Q&A session HERE.

Transcript

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0:00.0	The way to find out what the relationship is capable of is to push yourself up against the question of, can I choose this person?
0:08.5	Can I stop resenting what the marriage has never been and imagining this life where I could have had something else and instead love this person?
0:19.2	The challenge is that we want to be loved,
0:21.9	and then we manage our disappointment
0:23.7	when we're not being loved by not loving.
0:34.5	Welcome to conversations with Dr. Jennifer,
0:40.4	a collection of interviews on the topics of relationships,
0:45.9	sexuality, spirituality, and more, all featuring Dr. Finlayson Fife.
0:57.0	We just came back from the Art of Desire. So we did a live women's event in Hillsborough, Oregon, which was awesome. We had such a good time. And we are in three weeks going to be doing a couples event,
1:04.8	also in Hillsborough, which is kind of the Tuscany of America, rolling beautiful hills. And so we're going to be doing a
1:14.5	Strengthening Your Relationship event, which is a Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Christy, what are
1:19.5	those dates? Or it's on the 24th in the morning, but it starts early in the morning. So you want to be
1:24.3	in town on the 23rd. Then the event is over 24th through 30th.
1:30.0	Yep. Thursday, Friday, Saturday is the couples event. Then Sunday we have off. And then Monday,
1:35.5	Tuesday, Wednesday is the enhancing sexual intimacy event. And you can come to both, make a week of it,
1:41.1	or you can come to either if you want to just come for three days.
1:46.3	So I love these events. We do one of these every year, and they are just a really good way
1:54.8	to take a deep dive on your relationship and put aside the work and the kids and the distractions and have some really
2:03.2	focused time to look at what are we doing as a couple, what's interfering with the level
2:08.1	of emotional or sexual intimacy that we feel. How could we grow into better friends?
2:13.4	So this is really, you know, those of you who follow me, I really teach a developmental
2:18.0	approach to intimacy. That is to say love and intimacy is something we become more capable of
	...

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