This is the BBC.

Dear brothers and sisters, all are welcome here at the Confessions Podcast,

whether Saint or sinner.

Hey, thanks for downloading. Don't look at me like that. I'm trying to be...

Sunnyby hysterical. I'm trying to be jovial.

Thank you for downloading the latest Confessions Podcast from your friends at Radio 2.

Joe is here and Bobby is here too.

Yes. Now this week's Confession Collection includes a stagdoo show off in Max,

Mr Meena, the Beermankham. No as nautical naughtiness in Nevermind the Bad Cox,

and Ellie's horticultural howler, quite savage garden.

And of course we uncover another classic confession from the crypt, especially requested by you.

So we start this week with Life is a Ghost to Coaster.

Please be seated. Joe Simon and Bobby.

After many months of wondrous dating, my partner and I decided it was time to settle down,

with her wonderful three children as a new family and find the home of our dreams.

A place where the children had their own space, an ice-big garden, to run around in,

a period house full of character into which we could plunge our hard-earned cash and make our own

little family paradise. Weeks of endless online searches commenced, and after seemingly scores

of house visits, one came up that looked too good to be true, and we eagerly booked ourselves a viewing.

So the morning came, for this particular viewing, and it was a dismal early winter's day,

a heavy mist had dropped onto southeast London. The skies were leaden grays,

it's not a very seasonal one, is it? On the hottest day of the year. Anyway, skies were cooler though.

...