Radio 2's Confessions

Simon and Jo reunite to look back on their favourite Confessions from the show, which include special appearances from Rick Wakeman and Jacqueline Wilson!

Transcribed - Published: 28 December 2018

Donner seeks forgiveness in her Christmas fire fiasco ‘I Want Brandy’; Karen confesses her midnight mass story ‘My Girl's Wally Shock’; Gabrielle reveals her shameful church tale ‘Huey Organ’ and Tim shares his itchy cheeks confession ‘Jailhouse Pox’. Plus in this week's Confession from the Crypt we relive an awkward zip encounter that we called ‘Snatch My Zip Up’.

Transcribed - Published: 21 December 2018

Will you forgive Valerie’s fowl play? Plus a classic Emirates embarrassment revisited.

Transcribed - Published: 14 December 2018

Will you forgive Emily's Fiery Fable? Plus a vengeful Confession from the Crypt!

Transcribed - Published: 7 December 2018

John’s seeks forgiveness in his straw bale shambles ‘Shake Your Balefeather’; Bruce shares his faux fur prank ‘Hooked on a Screaming’; Jack reveals his sneaky stolen fruit Confession ‘In The Pear Tonight’ and Baz tells us his eye-popping tale ‘Gymslips, Lamps & Tease’. Plus in this week's Confession from the Crypt we relive a mysterious fox Confession called ‘Jet!’, plus there's also a chance to hear some of the Confessions that are just too rude to broadcast! If you have a Confession you’d like to share, or want to get in touch email [email protected].

Transcribed - Published: 30 November 2018

Will you forgive Elaine's Tracing Tale? Plus a painful Confession from the Crypt!

Transcribed - Published: 23 November 2018

Will you forgive Tony’s toasty tale? Plus a fantastic Confession from the Crypt!

Transcribed - Published: 16 November 2018

Also in this week's podcast,a fancy dress vicar gets a late night fright and in our X-Rated section, a desperate motorist is waylaid on the way to the Ladies...

Transcribed - Published: 9 November 2018

Eddie’s seeks forgiveness in his beefy swap story ‘We’ll Meat Again’; George reveals his beeping bust up confession ‘Don’t Go Braking My Horn’; Johnny shares his spooky tale ‘Leave A Fright On For Me’; and NG's tells us his floodgate catastrophe ‘The Life Buoys of Summer’. Also in this week's Confession from the Crypt we relive an exorcist tale sent in by an anonymous listener known as ‘The Evil Brother of Death’, plus there's also a chance to hear some of the Confessions that are just too rude to broadcast! If you have a Confession you’d like to share, or want to get in touch email [email protected].

Transcribed - Published: 2 November 2018

Will you forgive Dan's mower misstep? Plus a brilliant Confession from The Crypt!

Transcribed - Published: 26 October 2018

John seeks forgiveness in his delivery room disaster ‘See My Baby Dive’; Theo has a sibling shocker with ‘One Way or a Brother’; you’ll need a strong stomach to make it through Jules’ confession ‘There’s a Girl Works Down My Chip Shop Swears She’s Squeamish’; and there’s also Jilly’s kung-fu confession ‘Jilly Don’t Be Aikido’. Plus in this week's Confession from the Crypt we relive overzealous zookeeper Ed’s ‘Crocodile Shock’ and there's also a chance to hear some of the Confessions that are just too rude to broadcast! If you have a Confession you’d like to share, or want to get in touch email [email protected].

Transcribed - Published: 19 October 2018

Roger seeks forgiveness in his natural hen-ding story ‘Murder on the Farm Floor’; Bob confesses his waggy dog tale ‘Good Golly Miss Doggy’; Tony reveals his mid-70s gargantuan gatefold yarn ‘Love Me, Love My Prog’ and our second Roger of the week shares his fishy prank in ‘Oops I Squid It Again’. Plus in this week's Confession from the Crypt we relive Harry’s accidental exam Tannoy tale ‘A Noisy Tannoy Annoys’, and there's also a chance to hear some of the Confessions that are just too rude to broadcast! If you have a Confession you’d like to share, or want to get in touch email [email protected].

Transcribed - Published: 12 October 2018

Liam seeks forgiveness in his limping leg prank ‘Whine Every Mountain’, Joanna confesses her vandalism tale ‘The Name Of The Blame’ and Paul shares his tasty crumpet Confession ‘I Am, What I Jam’. Plus in this week's Confession from the Crypt we relive Tom’s kebab sneezing story ‘Abra – Abra - Kebabra’, and there's also a chance to hear some of the Confessions that are just too rude to broadcast! If you have a Confession you’d like to share, or want to get in touch email [email protected].

Transcribed - Published: 5 October 2018

Olly seeks forgiveness in his Wagon Wheel Whopper ‘He’s Quite Heavy He’s My Brother’; Captain A reveals his shocking stag story ‘Too Many Broken Parts’; Deborah tells us her confession ‘Say You, Say Wee’ and Max shares his fishy tale ‘Daddy Was A Carp Robber’. Plus in this week's Confession from the Crypt we relive an ex-zoo keeper’s shameful story involving the police, and there's also a chance to hear some of the Confessions that are just too rude to broadcast! If you have a Confession you’d like to share, or want to get in touch email [email protected].

Transcribed - Published: 28 September 2018

Alan seeks forgiveness in his swimming pool fiasco ‘I’m In Love with a German Theme Park’; Emma reveals her haunting ‘Woman In Black’ prank in ‘Black & Fright’; Bob shares his naughty motor bike story ‘Motor Spiking’ and Ian tells us his window breaking scandal in ‘Miser Chiefs’. Plus in this week's Confession from the Crypt we relive Sam’s Spanish car- tastrophe, and there's also a chance to hear some of the Confessions that are just too rude to broadcast! If you have a Confession you’d like to share, or want to get in touch email [email protected].

Transcribed - Published: 21 September 2018

With Jo and Simon off this week. We take a look back at some Classic Confessions from the last few years. In this episode Kim seeks forgiveness for her ‘Billy Goat Gaffe’ story (sadly it’s not THAT famous goat confession); Caz shares the story of her husband’s hairy reveal in ‘The Hair Bare Bunch’; Davy Jones confesses his tipsy tale ‘The Crate Unknown’ and Mozz spills the curry beans in his hilarious university Confession ‘Yellow’. If you have a Confession you’d like to share, or want to get in touch email [email protected].

Transcribed - Published: 14 September 2018

Archie seeks forgiveness in his fire liar tale - ‘I Didn’t Start The Ire’, Monica shares her dad’s Rock n Roll confession ‘A Hard Day’s Plight’ - which includes one of the legendary Beatles, Neil lifts the burden of guilt off his shoulders in his broken vase story ‘Can I Stick it, Yes I Can’ and Tim reveals his yodeling classroom prank in ‘French Dissin in the Black Coun-trayyy’. This week's Confession from the Crypt includes A Marillion album, a factory, and a member of staff losing their job! Plus there's also a chance to hear some of the stories that are just too rude to broadcast in our X-Rated Confessions section! If you have a Confession or want to get in touch email [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 7 September 2018

Rebecca seeks forgiveness for her classroom catastrophe - ‘Teach Your Children Smell’; Mr C shares his tale ‘Au Pair of Blue Eyes’, and Reverend Graham reveals his cheeky confession ‘Hey Teacher, Leave Those Ears Alone’. In this week's Confession from the Crypt we relive Michael’s horrible hamster confession, plus there's also a chance to hear some of the Confessions that are just too rude to broadcast! If you have a Confession or want to get in touch email [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 31 August 2018

Jo and Simon presented their shows live from Edinburgh this week and hosted live confessions from four comedians performing on The Fringe. Seeking redemption from the panel - and the live studio audience – are Al Murray, Mark Watson, Angela Barnes and Hugh Dennis. It’s over to you again next week, so if you have a Confession or want to get in touch, email [email protected].

Transcribed - Published: 24 August 2018

Ahead of our week at the Edinburgh Fringe, we’ve dug out some of the best celebrity confessions from our previous shows from the festival over the years. Hear shocking Confessions from the likes of Tim Vine, Greg Proops, Marcus Brigstocke, Jason Bryne and Russell Grant. We’ll be live from Edinburgh Monday – Thursday from 5pm on Radio 2, featuring an amazing line including David Walliams, Rachel Parris, Susan Calman, Al Murray plus live music from The Blossoms, Franz Ferdinand, Deacon Blue and The Wandering Hearts. If you have a Confession or want to get in touch email [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 17 August 2018

Unpack this week's podcast of hilarious holiday confessions! Featuring Ann’s foul bowel story, clumsy Kath’s cycling confession ‘You’ve Placed a Hill in My Heart’, Tom’s cruise confusion, Prankish Paula’s hilarious tale and M’s swimming spectacle ‘If My Friends Could See Me Now’. If you have a request for a confession from days gone by, email Father Simon to request it - [email protected].

Transcribed - Published: 10 August 2018

This week's podcast treats you to some of the best 2018 confessions so far! Featuring a Reverend Gary’s sinful story, Katie’s manipulative love triangle, A’s farting grandma confession, Kristy's tale ‘Where The Streets Have No Shame’ and Mark’s Harry Potter Panic story. If you have a request for a confession from days gone by, email Father Simon to request it - [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 3 August 2018

Can you forgive Mac’s bad beer behaviour in ‘The Beer Man Can’? Hear Noah’s nautical naughtiness in ‘Never Mind The Bad Cox’, Elle’s horticultural horror in ‘Quite Savage Garden’, plus there’s paranormal activity in Mike’s confession ‘Life Is A Ghoster-coaster.’ In this week’s Crypt there’s another chance to relive a cheeky tale featuring the Isle of Wight, garden furniture and two pranksters - what could go wrong?! Plus there's also a chance to hear some of the Confessions that are just too rude to broadcast! If you have a Confession or want to get in touch email [email protected].

Transcribed - Published: 27 July 2018

Joan seeks forgiveness in ‘Empire Fete of Mind’, M spills his story ‘Sign of the Crimes’ and Kath shares her cycling confession ‘You’ve Placed a Hill in My Heart’, plus you'll hear Anoymous’ sausage story called ‘Come Fly with Me’. In this week's Confession from the Crypt we relive Mark’s hilarious underground prank, plus there's also a chance to hear some of the Confessions that are just too rude to broadcast! If you have a Confession or want to get in touch email [email protected]. .

Transcribed - Published: 20 July 2018

Will you forgive Joseph in ‘Spice Up Your Strife’? Davey shares his criminal confession ‘As Long As Cheese Needs Me’, plus you'll hear A Sheepish Booksellers’ sinful story ‘Paperback Fighter’. In this week's Confession from the Crypt we hear the tale of Tyrion the Game of Thrones Hamster! Plus there's also a chance to hear some of the Confessions that are just too rude to broadcast! If you have a Confession or want to get in touch, email [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 13 July 2018

Will you forgive Nicci's bleach blooper in 'I Got Die On Your Arms Tonight'? Wendy finally confesses to her husband in 'Car Wash-ed Up', plus you'll hear Georgie's wedding nightmare in 'Here Stuns The Bride'. In this week's Confession from the Crypt we learn you have to be very careful when emptying a toilet on a boat! Plus there's also a chance to hear some of the Confessions that are just too rude to broadcast!!! If you have a Confession or want to get in touch email [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 6 July 2018

Will you forgive Neil's photograph fiasco in 'Flash Bang Wallop, What a Picture, What a Photograph'? Jacquline Wilson herself makes a guest appearance in Clare's story 'Jacqueline Wilson Says', plus you'll hear Jamie's tequila induced tale 'Nessum Korma' and get to know Fletcher in 'Up On The Woof' from Pete. This week's Confession from the Crypt has been requested by the star of the confession himself! There's also a chance to hear some of the Confessions that are just too rude to broadcast!!! If you have a Confession or want to get in touch email [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 29 June 2018

Can you forgive Mark for his literary lapse, Lisa's Duck Discretion, Mr I's Snail Fail, and Danny's Quick Cash scheme? Plus this week ‘Confession From The Crypt’ has a scary movie theme and there's a chance to hear more of the Confessions that are just too rude to broadcast on the radio! If you have a Confession or want to get in touch, email [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 22 June 2018

Can you forgive Kirsty’s forgetfulness in the sandwich aisle, Brian’s sickly sticky sweet situation, Tom’s Clooney catastrophe and Bob’s book boo-boo? Plus a crossbow is the star of this week’s ‘Confession From The Crypt’ and there's a chance to hear more of the Confessions that are just too rude to broadcast on the radio! If you have a Confession or want to get in touch, email [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 15 June 2018

Can you forgive Mark's crispy pickle he found himself in? Plus Britain's Got Talent winner Lost Voice Guy is the star of this week's Confession from the Crypt. There are more stories of shame from Cosy, Sir and Cieron, all of whom are seeking your forgiveness. There is also a chance to hear some of the sordid stories too rude for broadcast! If you have a Confession or want to get in touch email [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 8 June 2018

Can you forgive Sam for her inappropriate use of the kitchen staple? Plus on this week’s podcast you’ll be treated to Pete’s train mishap and Jade’s devastating Dover diversion. Plus, creeping out of this week’s Confessions Crypt, we have Selena’s ‘Lovebirds’. There's also a chance to hear some of the Confessions that are just too rude to broadcast!!! If you have a Confession or want to get in touch, email [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 1 June 2018

In an extended podcast, Simon, Jo and Bobbie hear listeners' shameful secrets. This week's podcast includes Lily's doll dilemma, Bryan's parsnip soup problem, Clara's carpet con and Ben's ferry fiasco! Do they deserve your forgiveness? We also hear about the confessions that were too shocking for radio! Plus more of listener’ letters from the Parish Notice Board and another archive tale from the crypt which can only be described as a bottom burp in a car. If you have a Confession, opinion or want to get in touch with the Collective then email [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 25 May 2018

In an extended podcast, Simon and Jo are joined by Bobbie to hear listeners' shameful secrets. This week's podcast includes T's fake tan faux-pas, Dave's autograph no-no, Bob the handyman's toilet trouble and Lucy Royal ride. Do they deserve your forgiveness? We also hear about the confessions that were too shocking for radio! Plus more of listener’ letters from the Parish Notice Board and another archive tale from the crypt which takes us back to 2010. If you have a Confession, opinion or want to get in touch with the Collective then email [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 18 May 2018

Jo Whiley joins Simon for this week's podcast, which takes you back to the past with another collection of Confessions excavated from the BBC Crypt. Featuring a marathon mix-up, a toilet training trouble, a crocodile con and a surgery shocker. If you have a request for a confession from days gone by, email Father Simon to request it - [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 11 May 2018

This week's podcast includes Prankish Paula's practical joke, Alex's wrong bag win, Nicola's Royal confusion and Red's dinner disaster. Do they deserve your forgiveness? Nigel joins Simon, Matt and Bobbie for a special Confession's podcast this week, we have a look at who has been voting for the podcast in the British Podcast Awards, Nigel impersonates and owl and there's the usual trawl through the 'non-compliant confessions'. Plus a Confession from the Crypt called 'My Art Will Go On’ featuring a lift full of tiny tiny balls. If you have a Confession, opinion or want to get in touch with Father Simon and the Collective then email [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 4 May 2018

This week's podcast takes you back to the past with another collection of Confessions excavated from the BBC Crypt. Featuring Gloria's knicker dilemma, Lost Voice Guy's Talent Contest fib, Margaret's nun confusion, a spider themed practical joke from Borris and Angie who played a pub singer prank at a museum. If you have a request for a confession from days gone by, email Father Simon to request it - [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 27 April 2018

This week's Confession collection features Sophia's knicker nightmare, Jimbo's 'Club Call' conundrum and Hope's hotel hiccup - Do they deserve forgiveness? There's our regular look at the Parish Notice Board, a shameful amount of 'non-compliant confessions' and there's a Confession from the Crypt which is and A&E disaster. If you have a Confession, opinion or want to get in touch with Father Simon and the Collective then email [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 20 April 2018

'John', Delilah, SJ and David are all asking for forgiveness in this weeks Confessions Podcast - do they deserve it? There's our regular look at the Parish Notice Board, where we received another Mini (U Rated) Confession from The Youngest Wedding Crasher... We have brand new (actually very old) bits of Radio 2 merch to reward dedicated listeners with, yet again there's a shameful amount of 'non-compliant confessions' that would never ever actually get on the show and also a Confession from the Crypt called 'Bend Me Shake Me Anyway You Want Me’ about a gentlemen's first Pilates class! If you have a Confession, opinion or want to get in touch with Father Simon and the Collective then email [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 13 April 2018

This week's podcast treats you to a quadruple of Confessions excavated from the BBC Crypt. Featuring a tale of bidet confusion from Twister, a blazer mix up from mum Cath, Rogers ripped trouser rigmarole and D confession involving a theatre 'drencher'. We also hear verdicts from Sister Rebecca, Mother Superior, Deadly, Novice Nigel, Sister Bobbie and Brother Matt as part of the collective. If you have a request for a confession from days gone by, email Father Simon to request it - [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 6 April 2018

Miss Mills, Diane and Major Q are all asking for forgiveness in this weeks Confessions Podcast - do they deserve it? There's our regular look at the Parish Notice Board, where Brother Matt joins us from a rather unusual location... We are still rewarding dedicated listeners with top of the range (actually very ordinary and unexciting) Radio 2 pens - but there's a brand new exciting bit of merchandise up for grabs! There's a shameful amount of 'non-compliant confessions' that would never ever actually get on the show and also a Confession from the Crypt about a spray tan, those ones are always good! If you have a Confession, opinion or want to get in touch with Father Simon and the Collective then email [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 30 March 2018

Do listeners Baz, Kiri, Amanda and Shane deserve your forgiveness for their tales of debauchery and deceit? In this week's podcast there's our regular look at the Parish Notice Board, where we have moved on from rewarding dedicated listeners with Radio 2 clocks to top of the range (actually very ordinary and unexciting) Radio 2 pens! There's a shameful amount of 'non-compliant confessions' that would never ever actually get on the show and also a much anticipated Confession from the Crypt, that we originally weren't sure ever graced the air waves in the first place... If you have a Confession, opinion or want to get in touch with Father Simon and the Collective then email [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 23 March 2018

Do listeners M, Claire, Fast Eddie and David deserve your forgiveness for their tales of debauchery and deceit? In this week's podcast there's our regular look at the Parish Notice Board where we hear about a teacher who gives Confessions out as homework, there's another (U) Rated Mini Confession featuring a very hungry Jack and Jill, we also look at the smug section of the notice board as well as the ''non-compliant confessions'! There's another Confession from the Crypt featuring a very convincing lie. If you have a Confession, opinion or want to get in touch with Father Simon and the Collective then email [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 16 March 2018

Do listeners Dr Simon G, Brian, Finnula and Carol deserve your forgiveness for their tales of debauchery and deceit? In this week's podcast there's our regular look at the Parish Notice Board, there's another (U) Rated Mini Confession which involves pant stealing, we may have found something to replace the car stickers and the team get the giggles from a yoghurt themed ''non-compliant confessions' that is definitely NOT OK! There's also a confession chosen by you, which is a water-skiing wardrobe malfunction! If you have a Confession, opinion or want to get in touch with Father Simon and the Collective then email [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 9 March 2018

Do listeners Roger, Janet, Andy and Robert deserve your forgiveness for their tales of debauchery and deceit? In this week's podcast there's our regular look at the Parish Notice Board, where Pedro aged 8 steals the show with his (U) Rated Mini Confession; the team are still at a loss as how they can replace the empty car sticker stash... and there's a whole heap of 'non-compliant confessions' that are absolutely NOT OK! There's also a much anticipated Confession from the Crypt, where any semblance of composure and professionalism is lost! If you have a Confession, opinion or want to get in touch with Father Simon and the Collective then email [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 2 March 2018

Will you forgive listeners 'A', Simon the Pie-man, Barry and Ken Fry who are all seeking penitence for their tales of deceit and deception? We take another look at the Parish Notice Board, listen to some of the reactions to the confessions, there's another (U) Rated Mini Confession that comes with gifts, we ponder what we can give away now our Drivetime Car Sticker Stash is empty and there's even more 'non-compliant confessions'! There's also a confession chosen by you, which is a complete dinner disaster! If you have a Confession, opinion or want to get in touch with Father Simon and the Collective then email [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 23 February 2018

Will you forgive listeners Mr T, Loopy Lou, PC Pig Noise and Craig who are all seeking penitence for their tales of deceit and deception? We take a look at the new items on the Parish Notice Board, listen to some of the reactions to the confessions and Simon digs out the infamous megaphone from the Drivetime prop cupboard! There's also a confession from the Crypt featuring an insufferable restaurant customer. If you have a Confession, opinion or want to get in touch with Father Simon and the Collective then email [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 16 February 2018

Will you forgive listeners Gloria, H the reformed banker, Mary and Jilted John who are seeking penitence for their tales of deceit and deception? We take another look at The Parish Notice Board, where we sort through who does and doesn't deserve a Drivetime bumper sticker! We also have another confession from the Crypt, involving a mysterious looking satellite! If you have a Confession, opinion or want to get in touch with Father Simon and the Collective then email [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 9 February 2018

Will you forgive listeners Mila, Lanky Franky, Martin the Karete Kid and Terri who are seeking penitence for their tales of deceit and deception? We take another look at The Parish Notice Board, Steve Cram gets involved with his own confession, we hear from some subscribing sheep and there's even more 'non-compliant confessions'! There's also another confession from the Crypt, chosen by you, which Matt thinks is the best confession EVER! If you have a Confession, opinion or want to get in touch with Father Simon and the Collective then email [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 2 February 2018

Will you forgive listeners Andrew, Mick, Sam and Adrian who are seeking penitence for their tales of deceit and deception? We take another look at The Parish Notice Board, listen to some of the reactions to the confessions and there's even more 'non-compliant confessions'! There's also a confession from the Crypt featuring a wheelie bin and a whisky lorry. If you have a Confession, opinion or want to get in touch with Father Simon and the Collective then email [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 26 January 2018

Will you forgive listeners Katie, Sarah, Aaron and Jack who are all seeking penitence for their tales of deceit and deception? Simon address the HUGE notice that is talking over the Parish Notice Board, we take a listen to some of the reactions to the confessions, Simon reads more 'non-compliant confessions', there's another (U) rated mini-confession and stay tuned till the end for a very rare update from possible one of the most shocking confessions of all time! There's also a confession from the Crypt featuring some flowery revenge. If you have a Confession, opinion or want to get in touch with Father Simon and the Collective then email [email protected]

Transcribed - Published: 19 January 2018