(Matt Monday): This Dangerous Guy Keeps You Single

Love Life with Matthew Hussey

Matthew Hussey

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.8 • 2.9K Ratings

🗓️ 5 December 2022

⏱️ 15 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

I’m curious if you can relate to this . . .

You know you have a lot to offer someone, but you can’t seem to get out of the cycle of dating the wrong people—bouncing from one emotionally unavailable guy to the next.

What you may not notice is that—without even realizing it—you’ve likely conditioned yourself to attract those types of guys. While a casual fling with someone like that may feel harmless, you may be surprised to learn just how much it can shift the way you approach dating.

In today’s brand-new episode, I unpack the dangers of settling for casual relationships and how they can rewire your mindset in a way that has a lasting effect on your love life. Then, most importantly, I share how you can get out of that crazy loop and actually see the potential that’s waiting for you.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Well, that's all well and good Matthew, but what do I do when I keep being attracted to these people?
0:04.4	I feel myself drawn to the wrong people. I can't control my attraction. I can't control my emotions.
0:10.9	It's like, that's what I'm drawn to.
0:31.7	There's a real danger of dating the wrong kinds of people. The wrong kind of person could be a
0:36.1	person who doesn't want what you want. Someone who's just in a casual phase of their life,
0:39.7	someone who wants to pick you up and put you down whenever they want, or it could be someone
0:43.6	who's even more greediously bad. Someone who outwardly disrespects you or is mean to you. Someone
0:50.3	that we might label toxic. When we date people like this, it's not just bad in the moment when
0:59.9	we might be experiencing bad behavior. It also has a lasting, dangerous effect on our love lives.
1:07.6	And the people that continuously date the wrong kinds of partners, or we can't even call them partners,
1:14.8	because a lot of them don't turn into partners, but the people that continuously date the wrong kind
1:19.5	of people often end up rewiring their mindset in a way that has lasting negative effects in their
1:28.0	love lives and keeps them single. I want to explain what this effect is because I think a lot of people
1:34.8	listening to this won't have thought about it this way. Let's just talk about how we justify
1:44.0	dating the wrong people in the first place. Some people justify it by saying, I'm just seeing
1:48.7	where it's going. You know, yeah, I know that this person's not in the right place in their life
1:52.9	right now. I know that they're just looking for something casual, but you know, I'm just kind of
1:57.8	seeing where it's going. You might even say, I know they're emotionally unavailable, but I'm just
2:03.2	seeing where it's going. Other people say, well, I'm just having a bit of fun right now. I'm not
2:07.9	taking it all too seriously. I'm not thinking about it too deeply. And so what we do is we often
2:13.3	justify the kind of casual dating situations we get into in the short term so that we can enter into
2:22.9	them for what are actually deeper reasons. For example, we might want to date this person that we say
	...

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