It's the unwelcome arrival of a reality, a new future that we did not plan to begin today,

and are probably not ready to start today. Your heartbreak will get better the moment you hear what I'm about to say.

Yesterday I sat with David Kessler, the world's foremost expert on grief to talk about the subject of heartbreak

and how to find happiness again after we have had our heartbroken.

One of the things that became eminently clear,

if it wasn't clear to me before,

was that heartbreak and grief are like this.

People always want to know for me which grief is the worst.

Is it this kind of death?

Is it a divorce where they're still rejecting you every day on this planet?

Like what's the worse and I always

go yours your grief is always the worse it's always the worse forget everyone else

it's just you.

Grief David said is a change you didn't want and what is heartbreak but a change you didn't want. When someone leaves us, when someone

betrays us, when someone decides that they no longer want us, that is a change that we did not want.

And the result we typically call heartbreak,

but that heartbreak is a kind of grief.

It's a grieving over a person we have lost

that we'll likely never have back again.

It's a grieving over a future

that we thought we would live out but is no longer our reality?

It's the unwelcome arrival of a reality, a new future that we did not plan to begin today and are probably not ready to start today.

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