The McElroy brothers are not experts, and their advice should never be followed.

Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.

Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mentioned only so the babies out there will know how cool

they are for listening. What's up, you cool baby.

Hey everybody, welcome to my brother's, my brother me an invite you for the

modern era. I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy. I'm your middle-aged brother, Travis McElroy.

Well, it's me, the sweet baby brother, Griffin McElroy. I am so sorry that I was late,

recording the podcast. Like 20 minutes late, 40 minutes combined between me and Travis.

Yeah, I wasted just 20 minutes of our life. We won't get back. What could we have done

with that 40 minutes? Knowing you, you're probably watching old episodes of

sister-sister on Hulu or something. I'll have you know, I was eating cold fried chicken over my

kitchen sink like a monster. And I was watching old episodes of sister-sister on HBO Go.

I was taking a cold shower. That's my new thing. If you haven't tried it, I would highly recommend

it. Very bracing, very good for the heart, the creativity. I do that as well. It's also very good

for your skin and for your skin. Why don't you start that, Travis? I started about eight months

ago. Yeah, do you only take cold showers? Well, what I do is I start off warm and then turn the

the ginger, the James Bond shower. Do you have that James Bond shower? That's correct, Griffin.

Are you trying to get rid of some hard onts? You just got chronic hard onts for your shiny squash?

I do, but it's not connected. It's actually, I think an old lifestyle that taking the cold shower

increases one's sexual potent. No, it can't and it won't. It gives you better boners because it

freezes them in place. And it freezes the blood in there? And so it freezes the blood in your

boner tickle. This is the worst introduction we've ever done. Because we're just talking about

...